Author Topic: Today's Toons 8/5/19  (Read 2972 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 8/5/19
« on: August 05, 2019, 04:07:44 AM »


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:


In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Mexican drug lord El Chapo wept in court as his New York federal judge sentenced him to life in prison for cocaine trafficking. He was also ordered to forfeit to the U.S. Treasury over twelve and a half billion dollars he'd stashed away in various banks. Is it me, or did Mexico just pay for the wall?

Jeffrey Epstein's offer to pay seventy-seven million dollars in bail was rejected. He's on suicide watch, which means he sleeps with one eye open. I don't want to say Epstein's in danger but Friday night Hillary walked into a bar in Little Italy and ordered two shots to the back of the head.

Mexican cocaine lord El Chapo was sentenced by a New York federal judge to life imprisonment plus thirty years on. Reaction was swift. U.S. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was immediately outraged when she learned that El Chapo will be separated from his family members.

Southern California voters on Friday began receiving robo-calls from presidential candidates a full 16 months ahead of the election. How do they track down our phone numbers? I never reveal my political party affiliation to anyone so pollsters never know whether I'm a Racist or Un-American.

President Trump mentioned the marriage of Congresswoman Ilhan Omar to her own brother during the time of her naturalization in Minneapolis. Isn't that sweet? Congresswoman Ilhan Omar may be from Minnesota, but her favorite place is Philadelphia because it is the City of Brotherly Love.

The Berkeley City Council voted to ban the use of any and all gender-specific words for use in either official intra-departmental communications or public statements. Manhole covers are now maintenance hole covers and manpower is now workforce. And changing a transistor is a hate crime.

Facebook introduced Faceapp in which you submit your photograph then it shows you what you will look like in ten years. Last week it swept social media like wildfire. The Faceapp has become very popular with Millennials because they want to see what they'll look like when they're Republicans.

House Democrats took one last shot at impeachment by trying to get the Special Counsel to try to damage Trump. Nothing in the report does that. In honor of Robert Mueller's testimony before Congress the Franklin Mint is issuing a commemorative bowl that won't hold water.

Jeffrey Epstein was found semi-conscious and lying on the floor of in his jail cell Wednesday morning. He bore tell-tale marks that let detectives know what likely happened. Nobody knows if Epstein is going to turn states' evidence, but he did stick his neck out for Bill Clinton.

Congresswoman Ilhan Omar incited another controversy about her radical views when cable networks picked up what she told Al Jazeera. She's a piece of work. Omar said it's wrong to judge people by the color of their skin or their sex, then she warned everybody to beware of white men.

CNN and MSNBC hosts licked their wounds after Robert Mueller's testimony failed to incriminate Trump. Many people on the left blamed Robert Mueller's poor performance in the hearings on global warming. Democrats had forecast thunder and lightning and they got fog.

Robert Mueller's mental decline was apparent to all during his testimony Wednesday about the Mueller Report. Democrats knew they were in for a long day after the first question. Committee Chairman Adam Schiff asked Bob Mueller to state his name and Mueller asked what page is that on?

President Trump declared victory after Robert Mueller's addled House testimony on Russian collusion. Democrats knew they were in trouble right away. After Adam Schiff welcomed him to the House Chamber, Mueller said he was there because he had been told there'd be pudding and Bingo.

-- Argus Hamilton



(Thank you, Cyber Ninja)

Online Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2019, 05:29:46 AM »
Thanks, pookie!
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Offline verga

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2019, 07:21:05 AM »
Thank you Pookie
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2019, 07:46:45 AM »
Thanks, Pookie!
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2019, 10:02:40 AM »
Thanks, pookie!

You're welcome, Smokin Joe!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2019, 10:02:58 AM »
Thank you Pookie

My pleasure, Verga!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2019, 10:03:27 AM »
Thanks, Pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Polly Ticks!

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2019, 02:07:04 PM »
G'day, Pookie!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2019, 02:12:47 PM »

Offline Sighlass

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2019, 02:22:21 PM »
Puddin Puddin Puddin... thanks for the funnies Pookie.... (puddin is an inside family joke, ignore is advised)....
Older men are to be temperate, dignified, self controlled, and sound in faith, love and perseverance. - Titus 2:2

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2019, 02:29:26 PM »
Puddin Puddin Puddin... thanks for the funnies Pookie.... (puddin is an inside family joke, ignore is advised)....

My pleasure, as ever, @Sighlass!

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Offline Sarge

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2019, 05:16:55 PM »
Thanks Pookie!
RIP Chopper 5-7-13 to 1-19-16

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/5/19
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2019, 05:33:30 PM »
Thanks Pookie!

You're welcome, Sarge!


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