Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread  (Read 10817 times)

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Online InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #75 on: May 13, 2019, 06:29:58 PM »
The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.

Nothing sad about it, the SOB was clearly in the left lane.
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #76 on: May 17, 2019, 10:15:44 AM »
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #77 on: May 17, 2019, 10:25:26 AM »
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.


This gem had Florida man with the family jewels on display. 
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Offline EdJames

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #78 on: May 17, 2019, 03:34:52 PM »
Florida Man vs. Florida Man: He wants to trademark ‘Florida Man’ before someone else does.

https://www.tampabay.com/environment/florida-man-vs-florida-man-he-wants-to-trademark-florida-man-before-someone-else-does-20190514/

ST. PETERSBURG — For three years, a Florida man named Ryan Davis has run a Florida website called “floridaman.com” that features stories he's aggregated from various publications about the bumbling antics of the Sunshine State's ubiquitous superhero, Florida Man. You know the ones: “Florida Man drives Cadillac from sunroof down highway, says he'd rather go to jail than back to his wife,” and “Florida Man gets beat up by the Easter Bunny," and "Florida Man resists arrest by singing karaoke.”

Lately he's even started making money at it, selling T-shirts and other merchandise bearing slogans such as “Beware of Florida Man.”

Now the St. Petersburg resident has taken the next logical step. He recently applied for a trademark for the term “Florida Man.”

--snip--

According to Largo trademark attorney Bill Larson, Davis can indeed trademark the term "Florida Man" — but only insofar as it's part of a product or service.

"You can only get a trademark registered for a product or service that you sell," he said, pointing out Davis' T-shirts as an example. "If it's a generic term that everyone uses — like escalator or elevator — those would not be able to be registered."

Davis has only just put in his application, so he's still got some time to go before he finds out if his trademark application has been accepted. He said he knows of one other person who has put in an application for the same trademark, so there could be a three-way custody battle over “Florida Man.”

Although Davis' website features a lot of mugshots, he was reluctant to share his own photo with the Times. Incidentally, Davis shares a trait with about two-thirds of Florida's 21 million residents: He's not from Florida. He’s originally from California, which in pre-Internet days used to be considered the weirdest state in the union.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #79 on: May 18, 2019, 10:38:43 AM »
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/
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Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #80 on: May 18, 2019, 10:45:28 AM »
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/

@jmyrlefuller

Hard to believe such a clever and unique seduction plan didn't work,huh?
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Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #81 on: May 18, 2019, 12:07:46 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #82 on: May 18, 2019, 01:00:22 PM »
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #83 on: May 18, 2019, 01:01:38 PM »
And, I bet he had really defined leg muscles.
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

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Offline corbe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #84 on: May 18, 2019, 02:45:43 PM »
No government in the 6,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #85 on: May 22, 2019, 04:35:13 PM »
Florida man crashes wedding, cuts in on the bride and groom's first dance, gets arrested
Crashing a wedding can go two ways: you have a great time while enjoying some free drinks and leave without anyone noticing you weren't actually invited or you join the bride and groom during their first dance and get arrested.

Mark Saunderson, 37 of Land O' Lakes, experienced the latter way.

Saunderson invited himself to a wedding reception at the Grand Plaza Hotel on St. Pete Beach Monday evening, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

After walking into the reception, Saunderson cut into the bride and groom's first dance.

When confronted by staff and security, he escaped to the 11th floor of the hotel.


https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-for-crashing-wedding-on-st-pete-beach-during-bride-and-grooms-first-dance
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #86 on: May 23, 2019, 01:09:37 PM »
Florida man caught on camera bathing in a Wendy's sink
A Snapchat video posted to Facebook on Tuesday showing a person bathing in the sink of a Milton Wendy's has the fast food restaurant in hot water with local residents.

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/
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Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #87 on: May 29, 2019, 12:09:21 PM »
Florida man arrested for hitting mom in head with corn cob

ZEPHYRHILLS, Fla. (FOX 35 ORLANDO) - A man in Pasco County is behind bars after deputies said he hit his mother in the head with a corn cob.

The incident reportedly happened at a home in Zephyrills around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday.

According to deputies, Cody Cummins, 27, threw a corn cob at his mother, hitting her in the head. Deputies say the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries, according to an arrest report.

http://www.fox5dc.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-hitting-mom-in-head-with-corn-cob
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #88 on: May 29, 2019, 12:13:40 PM »
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

He hurt her feelings?
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”

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Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #89 on: May 29, 2019, 01:08:25 PM »
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

Strange line.  Maybe we need to open  a sub-topic for "Floriduh Press?"
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #90 on: May 30, 2019, 10:39:10 AM »
Florida man bit by a snake that came out of the toilet he was using
Baltazar Jimeno, 52, told Coral Springs police that when he went to use the bathroom and lifted up the toilet seat Sunday morning, the python "rose out of the toilet and bit him in his arm," according to a police report.

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/coral-springs/snake-slithers-out-of-coral-springs-mans-toilet-bites-him
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Online InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #91 on: May 30, 2019, 02:16:33 PM »
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
My avatar shows the national debt in stacks of $100 bills.  If you look very closely under the crane you can see the Statue of Liberty.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #92 on: May 30, 2019, 07:31:26 PM »
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #93 on: May 30, 2019, 07:33:35 PM »
Florida man took shower in victim's home, wore her clothes then stole her car, police say

A man made himself at home as he stole from a 77-year-old woman, according to police.

The woman said she walked into her home to find a man wearing her clothes while hiding out from police.

The report said 37 -year-old Kristopher Patterson said he was not going to hurt her. He had taken a shower, asked her for a drink, and made a phone call.


https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/florida-man-took-shower-in-victim-s-home-wore-her-clothes-then-stole-her-car-police-say/953748252
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Online InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #94 on: May 30, 2019, 08:03:51 PM »
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.

They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
My avatar shows the national debt in stacks of $100 bills.  If you look very closely under the crane you can see the Statue of Liberty.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #95 on: May 30, 2019, 09:13:58 PM »
They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
The national version of the story in question uses the "Florida Man" headline.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/29/python-slithers-out-toilet-bites-florida-man-arm-coral-springs/1269761001/
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #96 on: May 31, 2019, 09:36:03 AM »
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.
Quote
Florida Teacher Wrote 'WTF Is This?' On Student's Science Assignment
By Brendan Cole On 5/30/19 at 6:57 AM EDT

Teachers are often expected to encourage their young charges, offering help to both those who soar at the top or linger at the bottom of the class, guiding them through their formative years.

However, one educator in Florida has been left decidedly unimpressed with a student’s assignment—and was not afraid to say so.

The unnamed teacher at Rutherford High School in Springfield gave short shrift to one science assignment and wrote across the top “WTF is this?"  ...

Rutherford principal Coy Pilson said the school had spoken with the teacher, whose name they would not release, adding that "she was apologetic and it was a mistake on her part.”  ...
Newsweek
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #97 on: May 31, 2019, 09:54:44 AM »
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.Newsweek

@mountaineer

Not exactly professional,but I think we can all probably understand her frustration.
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Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #98 on: June 03, 2019, 03:05:04 PM »
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

Quote
GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.



The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject.

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/
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Offline thackney

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #99 on: June 03, 2019, 03:07:05 PM »
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

...The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond....
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