Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread  (Read 33743 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 27,963
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #450 on: January 21, 2020, 07:39:48 PM »
Well no wonder you couldn't breath through em. If you get up this way, I will show you how with a cattail shoot. Just how to make it I mean... I haven't done it for real with anybody present since I was eight.

 888mouth
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 20,457
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #451 on: January 21, 2020, 07:42:31 PM »
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.

 *bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!

Offline bigheadfred

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 12,549
  • Gender: Male
  • Bobaladinga
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #452 on: January 21, 2020, 07:42:48 PM »
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.

Also explains why it took so long for you to escape.

Online sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 21,080
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #453 on: January 21, 2020, 07:45:06 PM »
*bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!

@roamer_1   Doesn't really have to be a cattail. AFAIN,pretty much any reed will work,and so will bamboo.

However,regardless of what it is you want to try,it is a MUST to blow air through it before going underwater and trying to suck air through it. You don't want to grab one that was broken at the top,and full of spiders,for example.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Offline bigheadfred

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 12,549
  • Gender: Male
  • Bobaladinga
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #454 on: January 21, 2020, 07:48:35 PM »
@roamer_1   Doesn't really have to be a cattail. AFAIN,pretty much any reed will work,and so will bamboo.

However,regardless of what it is you want to try,it is a MUST to blow air through it before going underwater and trying to suck air through it. You don't want to grab one that was broken at the top,and full of spiders,for example.

Also has to be the right length. If it is too long you are breathing in the same air you breathe out.

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 27,963
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #455 on: January 21, 2020, 09:39:33 PM »
*bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!
We had brackish tidewater swamps and marshes, but no cattails.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 27,963
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #456 on: January 21, 2020, 09:40:19 PM »
Also explains why it took so long for you to escape.
Got bogged down in the swamp mud....
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Offline jmyrlefuller

  • J. Myrle Fuller
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,192
  • Gender: Male
    • Fullervision
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #457 on: January 29, 2020, 08:27:25 AM »
Florida man arrested for stealing drills, batteries to pay for his ankle monitor

John Wayne Parker Jr., 32, was arrested in December on an aggravated assault charge in Palatka, Florida. He was sentenced to wear an ankle monitor so that authorities could keep track of his movements. Then Parker, unable to keep up with the monitor's monthly fees, turned to petty crime.

The pattern of thefts began on January 20. Parker allegedly first burglarized a local store for $3,000 worth of cigarettes to sell by smashing the front window of a local Hitchcock's Market. Then drills, batteries and other sundry items disappeared from the back of a work truck at a local business.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302

This almost qualifies for Ridiculous News of the Day.
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Offline jmyrlefuller

  • J. Myrle Fuller
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,192
  • Gender: Male
    • Fullervision
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #458 on: January 29, 2020, 08:30:10 AM »
Florida Man Update: Easter Bunny brawler arrested again

Antoine McDonald, 21, drove his motorcycle through a stop sign and crashed into a carport, which collapsed and damaged a car before he fled the scene on Jan. 16, the Florida Highway Patrol said. They discovered McDonald, wearing the bunny costume, in the backseat, the report said. Deputies told McDonald to remove the costume before arresting him, but the 21-year-old maintained his innocence.

“I wasn’t in any crash. I’m the Orlando Easter bunny, Google it,” McDonald told deputies, according to the report.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrest-easter-bunny-viral
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Online sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 21,080
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #459 on: January 29, 2020, 09:12:21 AM »
Florida man arrested for stealing drills, batteries to pay for his ankle monitor

John Wayne Parker Jr., 32, was arrested in December on an aggravated assault charge in Palatka, Florida. He was sentenced to wear an ankle monitor so that authorities could keep track of his movements. Then Parker, unable to keep up with the monitor's monthly fees, turned to petty crime.

The pattern of thefts began on January 20. Parker allegedly first burglarized a local store for $3,000 worth of cigarettes to sell by smashing the front window of a local Hitchcock's Market. Then drills, batteries and other sundry items disappeared from the back of a work truck at a local business.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302

This almost qualifies for Ridiculous News of the Day.

@jmyrlefuller

Quote
According to the organization Equal Justice Under the Law, ankle monitors cost between $175 and $200 to set up. Daily fees can run anywhere between $5 to $20.

In this retards defense,that is a HELL of a lot of money for mouth-breathers like him to come up with. Chances are he doesn't even clear 20 bucks a day after living expenses when he works,which isn't often because he most likely doesn't have any skills beyond labor.

Putting a ankle bracklet on him and then charging him for wearing it is almost asking him to commit crimes to come up with the money. It's akin to shooting over a baited field.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Online Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 50,555
  • Gender: Male
  • We got 'im now!®
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #460 on: January 29, 2020, 10:09:27 AM »
@jmyrlefuller

In this retards defense,that is a HELL of a lot of money for mouth-breathers like him to come up with. Chances are he doesn't even clear 20 bucks a day after living expenses when he works,which isn't often because he most likely doesn't have any skills beyond labor.

Putting a ankle bracklet on him and then charging him for wearing it is almost asking him to commit crimes to come up with the money. It's akin to shooting over a baited field.

Ankle bracelets are like traffic school for getting a ticket:  It's a racket.  There is no way it costs $5-20 to monitor a prisoner for a day.  It's automated.
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
I will NOT comply.
                          Castillo del Cyber! ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Online sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 21,080
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #461 on: January 29, 2020, 11:38:44 AM »
Ankle bracelets are like traffic school for getting a ticket:  It's a racket.  There is no way it costs $5-20 to monitor a prisoner for a day.  It's automated.

@Cyber Liberty

Exactly! Chances are the ankle bracelets were invented by someone with political connections that got them adopted by the court system,and it's been nothing but gravy money for them ever since. They probably only have 3 people in a room over a 24 hour period waiting for a light to flash or a buzzer to go off so they can call the cops. They probably don't get paid much more than 10 bucks an hour for a 8 hour shift. That makes for a lot of "gravy" for the judges/court system,as well as the relatives of the pols and judges that approved the system.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Online Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 50,555
  • Gender: Male
  • We got 'im now!®
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #462 on: January 29, 2020, 11:45:59 AM »
@Cyber Liberty

Exactly! Chances are the ankle bracelets were invented by someone with political connections that got them adopted by the court system,and it's been nothing but gravy money for them ever since. They probably only have 3 people in a room over a 24 hour period waiting for a light to flash or a buzzer to go off so they can call the cops. They probably don't get paid much more than 10 bucks an hour for a 8 hour shift. That makes for a lot of "gravy" for the judges/court system,as well as the relatives of the pols and judges that approved the system.

It's the same business model for red-light cameras.  A private company provides the cameras to cities for free, and get a kickback for the revenue they generate for the cities.  It's a racket.
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
I will NOT comply.
                          Castillo del Cyber! ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline bigheadfred

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 12,549
  • Gender: Male
  • Bobaladinga
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #463 on: January 29, 2020, 07:03:18 PM »
It's the same business model for red-light cameras.  A private company provides the cameras to cities for free, and get a kickback for the revenue they generate for the cities.  It's a racket.

Tennis, anyone?

I knew of a guy who did a nickel for burglary. Paroled out. They told him they were placing him on the lowest level of supervision. They actually had him on double secret. Filmed him breaking into a place and coming back out with a sackful of fun. He was out for 10 days. Right back in for another nickel.

Online sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 21,080
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #464 on: January 29, 2020, 07:47:33 PM »
Tennis, anyone?

I knew of a guy who did a nickel for burglary. Paroled out. They told him they were placing him on the lowest level of supervision. They actually had him on double secret. Filmed him breaking into a place and coming back out with a sackful of fun. He was out for 10 days. Right back in for another nickel.

@bigheadfred

Some people are such slow learners they probably need to be locked up for their own good.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 4,906
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #465 on: January 30, 2020, 07:06:39 AM »
@bigheadfred

Some people are such slow learners they probably need to be locked up for their own good.
Hey, I thought you weren't going to say mean things about me on the forum anymore.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Online sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 21,080
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #466 on: January 30, 2020, 07:13:06 AM »
Hey, I thought you weren't going to say mean things about me on the forum anymore.

@verga

Please accept my apologies. I didn't know you were watching.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Offline bigheadfred

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 12,549
  • Gender: Male
  • Bobaladinga
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #467 on: January 30, 2020, 07:17:56 AM »
@verga

Please accept my apologies. I didn't know you were watching.

That'll teach you to keep the door to your basement closed.

Online Lando Lincoln

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12,697
  • Gender: Male
For the progressive, there is very little to love about the United States. Washington, Jefferson, Madison? A bunch of rotten slaveholders, hypocrites, and cowards even when their hearts were in the right places. The Declaration of Independence? A manifesto for the propertied classes. The Constitution? An artifact of sexism and white supremacy. The sacrifices in the great wars of the 20th century? Feeding the poor and the disenfranchised into the meat-grinder of imperialism. The gifts of Carnegie, Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Morgan, Astor? Blood money from self-aggrandizing robber barons. Nat Rev

Offline jmyrlefuller

  • J. Myrle Fuller
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,192
  • Gender: Male
    • Fullervision
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #469 on: February 16, 2020, 01:52:34 PM »
Florida man's downward spiral leads to halfhearted bank robbery as a 'cry for help'

A 74-year-old Florida man whose halfhearted attempt at bank robbery was caused by depression after his wife's death will not spend any time in jail, it was announced Friday. Hawkins, unarmed, walked into a Wells Fargo branch in Boca Raton on Nov. 18 and demanded $1,100 from the teller. When she counted out $2,000, he told her it was too much and had her count out the right amount. He says he doesn't know why he asked for that amount.

He then left the bank and the moneybag got caught in some bushes, so he left it. It was never recovered.

“It was my way of, basically, a cry for help," Hawkins said.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/elderly-halfhearted-florida-bank-robber-jailed-68989299
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Online mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,851
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #470 on: February 16, 2020, 01:55:50 PM »
How very sad!

Online mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,851
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #471 on: February 16, 2020, 02:18:44 PM »
The Adventures of Florida Snakes (subcategory):
Quote
Mating snakes prompt closure of part of Florida park
Associated Press | Saturday, February 15, 2020 2:21 p.m.

LAKELAND, Fla. — A Florida city shut down a section of a lake Thursday after receiving reports of swarming snakes. Turns out, the slithery creatures were just celebrating Valentine’s Day a little early.

The Lakeland Parks & Recreation department wrote on its Facebook page that a group of non-venomous water snakes congregated to mate near a traffic roundabout. ...
Full story

Offline jmyrlefuller

  • J. Myrle Fuller
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,192
  • Gender: Male
    • Fullervision
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #472 on: February 18, 2020, 08:24:21 PM »
Florida man arrested for ranting, raving and roaming around in a trailer park with his pants off

The perpetrator, a 30-year-old man from Jensen Beach, was not named in the news report. Yes, alcohol was involved.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2020/02/18/man-no-pants-rants-jensen-beach/4726482002/
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Offline goatprairie

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,708
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #473 on: February 18, 2020, 08:58:48 PM »
Do they EVER!!! have their pants on when go ranting and raving?    22222frying pan

Offline jmyrlefuller

  • J. Myrle Fuller
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,192
  • Gender: Male
    • Fullervision
Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #474 on: February 19, 2020, 10:17:31 PM »
Florida men botch a pharmacy robbery by leaving a trail of pill bottles to their hideout

The three men who held up a CVS Pharmacy on New Year’s Day (...) made off with a boatload of drugs in white garbage bags — more than 10,000 pills that contained the opioids hydrocodone and oxycodone, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. It had an estimated street value of about $320,000.

But as detectives investigated the area around the store, located at 30387 U.S. 19 N, they started noticing pill bottles, according to an arrest warrant. The robbers, it appeared, had emptied the bottles as they made their getaway, then tossed them out the window of their car.

Detectives started following the pill bottles like bread crumbs, eventually leading to a house at 1045 West Ave. There, they found the same White Chrysler 200 that had been recorded on surveillance camera fleeing the scene. White cotton and a pill bottle cap lay on the ground nearby.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/19/they-held-up-a-clearwater-cvs-then-a-trail-of-pill-bottles-led-police-to-their-door/
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton


Share me

Digg  Facebook  SlashDot  Delicious  Technorati  Twitter  Google  Yahoo
Smf