Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread  (Read 29060 times)

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Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #325 on: November 28, 2019, 09:45:42 AM »
Masturbating Florida man slugs elderly man who asked him to stop
By Ben Feuerherd
November 28, 2019

A drunk man who was masturbating in a Florida supermarket’s parking lot slugged an elderly man who told him to cut it out, a report said.

The suspect, 39-year-old Kerry Vandergriff, was allegedly masturbating with his pants down in the Fresco Y Mas in Miami on Saturday afternoon at about 5:30 p.m., CBS New York reported.

The elderly man approached Vandergriff and told him to stop, he later told police.

Vandergriff then slugged him in the face, knocking him to the ground, according to the report. ... NY Post

Was that wrong?

Offline berdie

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #326 on: November 28, 2019, 04:03:59 PM »
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:

Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #327 on: November 28, 2019, 05:42:05 PM »
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:

@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #328 on: November 29, 2019, 07:53:48 AM »
@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #329 on: November 29, 2019, 08:03:46 AM »
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!

@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #330 on: November 29, 2019, 08:13:57 AM »
@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
If that is your story stick to it.  :thumbsup:
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #331 on: November 29, 2019, 08:33:40 AM »
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.
Quote
Ranking this year's top 'Florida Man' stories
Crimes in the sunshine state this year have elevated ridiculousness to a whole new level.
Author: Adam Longo
Published: 9:29 PM EST November 27, 2019
Updated: 11:02 PM EST November 27, 2019

FLORIDA, USA — We've come to expect nothing less from the phallic shaped peninsula extending into the Atlantic Ocean. If you want to play a game with family over Thanksgiving, consider finding a wacky news headline and asking those gathered around, "did this happen in Florida, or somewhere else?" ...   "Florida Man" headlines spread across the globe at the speed of light. The stories captivate readers who become simultaneously repulsed and attracted to antics that even the most talented Hollywood writers are envious of.   ...

When a police officer tells you that you have the right to remain silent, it's clear that "Florida Man" doesn't heed that advice.   ...
Entire article at WUSA9

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #332 on: November 29, 2019, 10:33:45 AM »
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.Entire article at WUSA9

But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
I will NOT comply.
                          Castillo del Cyber! ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #333 on: November 29, 2019, 11:21:59 AM »
But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!

Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #334 on: November 29, 2019, 01:35:21 PM »
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!

@mountaineer

...alligators will be raped.....
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #335 on: December 02, 2019, 05:33:26 PM »
Kid shoots Florida man with a Nerf gun. Drunk, he returns fire with a real gun.

A man who was drunk on whiskey and beer pulled out a gun and shot a 7-year-old boy while the children were playing with Nerf guns, according to the Sanford Police Department.

Anthony Knuth told officers that he had taken shots of Southern Comfort and drank beer the night of the shooting and if he shot the child, it must have been an accident because he couldn’t remember it, according to the report.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/12/02/florida-man-shoots-child-after-taking-shots-of-whiskey-police-say/
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #336 on: December 05, 2019, 03:49:36 PM »
Florida woman is pregnant. But which one of the four Florida men she's dating is the daddy?

Tory Ojeda, 20, from Jacksonville, Florida, met one of her partners Marc, 18, in high school and then started a relationship with Travis, 23, two months later.

Their love story began three years ago and she has since announced her engagement to Travis in July.

She also found love with their long-term mutual friends Ethan, 22, and Christopher, 22. While seven months ago, Tory and Chris found out that they were pregnant with a baby girl.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #337 on: December 17, 2019, 06:47:02 PM »
Quote
Florida man sentenced to 20 years after bringing condoms, pink dress to child-sex sting
By David Aaro, Fox News
December 13, 2019

A Florida man was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison on Thursday for attempting to entice a child for sex, according to the Department of Justice.

Frederick M Pohl, Jr., 41, from Clermont, was arrested after he arrived at an Orlando hotel with condoms and a pink dress, following ongoing conversations with an undercover federal agent in Detroit that involved his desire to rape an 8-year-old girl. ...
  NY Post

At first glance, I thought the pink dress was for him.  :whistle:

Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #338 on: December 22, 2019, 06:13:12 PM »
Florida man, 88, cited for school bus on property, says he can’t build toys without it


A Jacksonville toymaker was cited for having a school bus on his property. The city said it shouldn’t be there, but Raymond Zipple said he can’t work without it.


“This is a bus we were using for the last six years with permits from the city,” Zipple said.

Zipple is 88 years old and said making toys has been his hobby for years.


https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending/florida-man-88-cited-school-bus-property-says-he-cant-build-toys-without-it/ATBTQKKIEJHMNPOHOFQGZF7OOM/

(I'm siding with Florida Man on this one.)
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Online libertybele

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #339 on: December 22, 2019, 06:28:26 PM »
Florida woman is pregnant. But which one of the four Florida men she's dating is the daddy?

Tory Ojeda, 20, from Jacksonville, Florida, met one of her partners Marc, 18, in high school and then started a relationship with Travis, 23, two months later.

Their love story began three years ago and she has since announced her engagement to Travis in July.

She also found love with their long-term mutual friends Ethan, 22, and Christopher, 22. While seven months ago, Tory and Chris found out that they were pregnant with a baby girl.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus

Clearly this is a case for the Maurey show.
"I believe in the United States of America as a Government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed; a democracy in a republic; a sovereign nation of many sovereign states; a perfect union one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes. I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it; to support its Constitution; to obey it laws; to respect its flag; and to defend it against all enemies." -William Page

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #340 on: December 23, 2019, 09:39:06 AM »
Clearly this is a case for the Maurey show.
Just to be contrary I am going to say: None of the above."
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Online DeerSlayer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #341 on: December 23, 2019, 09:55:45 AM »
Florida has nothing on California, where Hollywood makes pictures of our true stories and true stories of our pictures.
Plastic straws are banned and plastic syringes are handed out for free.  Use 'em and then toss them in our streets as you take a crap.

http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com

Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #342 on: December 23, 2019, 09:56:15 AM »
Thank goodness for the availability and reliability of DNA paternity testing.

Online sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #343 on: December 23, 2019, 01:29:24 PM »

Plastic straws are banned and plastic syringes are handed out for free.  Use 'em and then toss them in our streets as you take a crap.

http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com

@DeerSlayer

Those words with a photo on them would make one HELL of a political poster.
It takes an special kind of "Stoopid" to make Trump look like a defenseless victim and gain public sympathy,but damned if the Dims didn't pull it off!

Online mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #344 on: December 24, 2019, 10:12:01 AM »
Quote
Florida man busted for handing out pot ‘because it was Christmas’
By Jackie Salo
December 24, 2019

Even Florida man is getting in the holiday spirit.

A 67-year-old merrymaker was busted in St. Petersburg for handing out marijuana Saturday night “because it was Christmas,” authorities said.

Richard Ellis Spurrer was confronted by officers around 11 p.m. after he was allegedly spotted handing out weed to passersby, news station WFLA reported.

Spurrer — who had 45 grams of marijuana on him — chocked up his generosity to the holidays, telling cops that the hand-outs were “because it was Christmas,” according to Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. ...
  NY Post

Is it just me, or are all these Florida men starting to look like the same guy?

Offline berdie

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #345 on: December 27, 2019, 03:45:24 PM »
I can't wait to see what Florida Man does to celebrate New Years Eve!! :laugh:

Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #346 on: December 27, 2019, 10:39:54 PM »
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #347 on: January 03, 2020, 09:00:17 AM »
Florida man arrested for fighting a gas pump

Collier County deputies arrested Hunter Bleich after they say he disturbed the peace at the Mobil gas station on Executive Drive in Naples.

Bleich is accused of kicking and punching gas pumps, as well as taking swings at equipment inside of a drive-thru car wash.


https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump
https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #348 on: January 03, 2020, 09:40:03 AM »
Florida man arrested for fighting a gas pump

Collier County deputies arrested Hunter Bleich after they say he disturbed the peace at the Mobil gas station on Executive Drive in Naples.

Bleich is accused of kicking and punching gas pumps, as well as taking swings at equipment inside of a drive-thru car wash.


https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump
https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples
(Florida) Man vs. the Machine!
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #349 on: January 04, 2020, 08:50:39 PM »
Florida man bites dog. A police dog. Yes, meth was involved. And of course he was naked.

Last Friday in High Springs, Florida, police were called to a residence, where they found Donald Watts high on methamphetamine and rolling around in the mud in a ditch. He was also completely naked and making bird noises.

When Watts spotted the cops, he punched one of them and failed to be deterred by stun guns. Accompanied by a K-9 officer named Casper, police found Watts in some woods nearby. He proceeded to get down on all fours and mimic the police dog, which he bit in the ear.


https://921ctq.iheart.com/featured/maverick-mornings/content/2020-01-03-naked-florida-man-arrested-for-biting-police-dog-in-ear-while-high-on-meth/?ICID=ref_fark
‘‘Great men are almost always bad men.’’ —Lord Acton


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