Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread  (Read 17585 times)

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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #175 on: August 10, 2019, 09:41:34 AM »
Florida man pulls gun after furniture is delivered late, tells crew he’s ‘shot people for less’
A man from Manatee County is accused of pulling a gun on two furniture delivery men because he was unhappy that they were late. Mitchell Helton, 55, had ordered the goods from the Furniture Warehouse and had been told that they were on their way on August 3.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office said that when the delivery men arrived, the front door was open and Helton told them that he was upset he had to wait so long. When they asked him if he still wanted the furniture, he said, "do whatever you want" and went to his bedroom, according to the police report.

When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #176 on: August 17, 2019, 10:55:35 AM »
Florida man threatens neighbors with nunchucks and bug spray, but only injures himself
Larry Adams, 61, was arrested after the bizarre confrontation, which residents said was sparked by loud music coming from a car outside a Daytona Beach apartment complex late Monday night, FOX35 Orlando reported. One neighbor told the station Adams initially tried to frighten the group, but the bid backfired – literally – when he struck the car frame with the nunchucks and the martial arts weapon unexpectedly bounced off the vehicle's body and smashed into his face.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #177 on: August 17, 2019, 04:04:45 PM »
Quote
When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #178 on: August 17, 2019, 04:09:18 PM »
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:

I don't see the problem with the actions of this Florida Man.  Slipshod service must not be accepted or even tolerated. 888mouth
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #179 on: August 27, 2019, 07:34:57 AM »
Florida Man menaced victim with machete for not flushing toilet
Keith Mounts, 46, was busted Saturday night on a felony aggravated assault count following a confrontation at his residence in Hudson, a Tampa suburb.

According to the victim, Mounts “pointed a machete in his face after he told him to flush the toilet after using it.” The man added that Mounts threatened to “chop” him with the weapon.

Mounts subsequently “provided a written statement saying ‘Shit happened,’” cops reported.


http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #180 on: August 31, 2019, 08:28:22 PM »
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Online Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #181 on: September 01, 2019, 03:09:59 AM »
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...


Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #182 on: September 01, 2019, 08:27:16 AM »
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
No sign of lids. I guess he doesn't mind stinking up the back of his SUV with the lovely aroma of gasoline.
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #183 on: September 01, 2019, 10:07:46 AM »
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....

Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
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Online Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #184 on: September 01, 2019, 12:18:20 PM »
Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Right, just one bump.... @mountaineer I have to note that intense hydrocarbon fumes can lead to a 'high'--kids were known in my grandfather's day to lay on the gas tank of the tractor and pull the cap off just to get a buzz from the (then) pleasant smell of the gasoline. My grandfather said that other additives were added to make it smell worse not long after that.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #185 on: September 10, 2019, 08:41:30 PM »
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

Quote
A 37-year old man suffering some very serious groin injuries after being bitten by a pit bull, was admitted at the Ryder Trauma Center, this morning.

Jesus Ramon Sanchez, from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami, was allegedly attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a 4-year old male pit bull, when the dog defended itself by tearing off the man’s genitals with its teeth.

The incident took place around 8:30 this morning, in the Allen Morris Dog Park in Miami.

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky, was playing with his owner in the park when Mister Sanchez grabbed him and attempted to rape him.

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #186 on: September 10, 2019, 08:44:37 PM »
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky,

@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!
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Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
I will NOT comply.
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #188 on: September 10, 2019, 08:59:26 PM »
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #189 on: September 10, 2019, 09:04:24 PM »
Just so much wrong in that.

I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"
Don't call it the "Federal Government," that's an insult to the Founders.  It's a "National Government."
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #190 on: September 10, 2019, 09:06:01 PM »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

Awwww.  I dislike pits, but he's really cute.

And, good dog. 
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #191 on: September 10, 2019, 09:30:55 PM »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

@Cyber Liberty

Don't recall EVER seeing a dog with such a self-satisfied look on his face before.

GOOD dog!
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Schlapp repeatedly pressed Cuomo to “name the crime” that would be listed on the articles of impeachment for President Donald Trump. “There’s no need for a crime,” Cuomo responded.

Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #192 on: September 10, 2019, 10:01:15 PM »
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.



"Spanky"

They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #193 on: September 10, 2019, 11:03:29 PM »
They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.

@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Schlapp repeatedly pressed Cuomo to “name the crime” that would be listed on the articles of impeachment for President Donald Trump. “There’s no need for a crime,” Cuomo responded.

Offline InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #194 on: September 11, 2019, 12:32:43 AM »
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.

Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
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Online Smokin Joe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #195 on: September 11, 2019, 03:24:31 AM »
Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression


There are no "Socialists", no "Progressives", only Communists, with every negative image that totalitarianism might muster, demanding fealty and conformity to their views, with a legacy of 150,000,000 dead and counting.

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #196 on: September 11, 2019, 07:15:33 AM »
 :thumbsup:
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
:thumbsup: There are occasions when an older dog might snap at a child that is playing to rough or feels cornered, but those are the exceptions not the rule.
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Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #197 on: September 11, 2019, 07:17:44 AM »
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
:thumbsup:
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline sneakypete

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #198 on: September 11, 2019, 12:14:57 PM »
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.



@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Schlapp repeatedly pressed Cuomo to “name the crime” that would be listed on the articles of impeachment for President Donald Trump. “There’s no need for a crime,” Cuomo responded.

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #199 on: September 11, 2019, 02:28:39 PM »
@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
My Father and his cousins owned a raccoon hound that if the animal didn't come out of the tree you better go up and get it, or he would not hunt with you the rest of the day.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.


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