Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread  (Read 17406 times)

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Offline jmyrlefuller

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The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« on: April 14, 2019, 01:03:14 PM »
The Adventures of Florida Man
A repository for all Florida Man stories.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2019, 01:08:18 PM by jmyrlefuller »
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2019, 01:05:01 PM »
(post inadvertently overwritten, will try to retrieve)
« Last Edit: July 24, 2019, 09:07:07 AM by jmyrlefuller »
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2019, 03:54:20 PM »
Actual Esquire article:
Quote
The 90 Wildest Florida Man Headlines of 2019 (So Far)
Whatever insanity is happening in your state, Florida has done it with an alligator and possibly some amphetamines.
By Justin Kirkland   
Apr 1, 2019  ...
Apparently, there's a new one every day. This is just March 30's:
Quote
Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin
By: Bob D'Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk
Updated: Mar 30, 2019 - 2:57 AM

... The victim told police she was in the backyard of a home when Dankner asked her to dress his mannequin, the television station reported. When the woman refused, Dankner allegedly blocked her path back into the house.  ...

The victim told police Dankner hit her several times in the head with a wooden stool and stuffed dumplings into her mouth, causing her to have difficulty breathing, the television station reported.  ...
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Offline verga

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2019, 07:39:52 AM »
BKMK
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2019, 07:51:18 AM »
This morning's Florida Man story:
Quote
Florida Man Driving at 100 MPH Tells Cop 'The Car is a Ferrari and it Goes Fast,' Passenger Gets Him in More Trouble
By Jason Murdock On 4/15/19 at 5:35 AM EDT

A Florida man who told police he was speeding because his sports car “goes fast” was hit with a felony charge this weekend after a passenger in the vehicle claimed he had ignored the patrol car siren of an in-pursuit deputy, the local police department has said.

Gabriel Molina, age 29, of Miami, was behind the wheel of a 2016 Ferrari and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour (mph) while allegedly fleeing from Upper Keys police sergeant Robert Dosh on Sunday. ...
Newsweek
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2019, 09:52:51 AM »
I love Florida Man stories. 
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2019, 10:00:48 AM »
I love Florida Man stories.
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2019, 10:02:49 AM »
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

 888high58888
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
– Sam Houston

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2019, 10:03:16 AM »
Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta
Ben Padgett, 32, was arrested on April 7 for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.

According to an arrest report, police responded to a disturbance call at the restaurant and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities." He was not wearing a shirt.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html
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Offline thackney

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2019, 10:17:08 AM »
...and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities....

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
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Offline mountaineer

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2019, 10:54:55 AM »
So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.
"Because men have lost the objective basis of certainty of knowledge of the thing in which they are working, more and more I fear we are going to find them manipulating science according to their own sociological or political desires rather than standing upon concrete objectivity." Francis A. Schaeffer

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2019, 10:59:01 AM »
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Isn't the lack of a shirt an extenuating circumstance? 
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
– Sam Houston

Offline goatprairie

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2019, 11:10:15 AM »
Is Florida Man doing the crazy stunts other Americans are unwilling to do to entertain the general American public?
I say it's time for other Americans to do their bit and perform the weird things Florida Man  has been doing over and above  what is called for by the average American.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2019, 04:06:54 PM »
Florida man charged with shooting woman with a gun he filled with urine
An elderly man who squirted a woman with urine while she was walking her dog was arrested in Florida over the weekend — and he’s not sorry.

Gulfport police reportedly picked up Joel Benjamin, 71, on Saturday after he used a squirt gun to soak a 50-year-old woman passing by his house.


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline Ghost Bear

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2019, 04:29:09 PM »
Bookmarking...  :pop41:
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Offline corbe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 PM »



   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.
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Offline berdie

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2019, 05:39:59 PM »



   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.



Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777

Offline corbe

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2019, 06:11:11 PM »
   You're probably absolutely correct @berdie
No government in the 6,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2019, 06:13:34 PM »


Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777

I sure hope not.   :thud:
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
– Sam Houston

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2019, 06:47:34 AM »
Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family's yard
Collier County deputies said Michael Burke was attempting to break into multiple homes in the 3100 hundred block of Barrett Avenue when a neighbor spotted him and called deputies.

Neighbors said Burke was scared off by dogs, but not scared enough to stop him from going into their backyard and relieving himself.


https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard

(Au contraire... they literally scared the crap out of him.)
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline GrouchoTex

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2019, 07:47:56 AM »
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

Offline GrouchoTex

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2019, 07:49:47 AM »



   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

Of course, that would be both beautiful and crazy all at the same time.

(Whoops, did I say that out loud?).

I'm going to hide now.

Offline Sanguine

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2019, 09:19:38 AM »
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

I don't Google, but I Ixquiked mine and got: "Florida Man Arrested For Beating Drag Queen With Tiki Torch While Dressed as Member of KKK, Now Running For Mayor"   :silly:
"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people, except for a few public officials." – George Mason, Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 1788

“Do right and risk the consequences.”
– Sam Houston

Offline Lando Lincoln

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For the progressive, there is very little to love about the United States. Washington, Jefferson, Madison? A bunch of rotten slaveholders, hypocrites, and cowards even when their hearts were in the right places. The Declaration of Independence? A manifesto for the propertied classes. The Constitution? An artifact of sexism and white supremacy. The sacrifices in the great wars of the 20th century? Feeding the poor and the disenfranchised into the meat-grinder of imperialism. The gifts of Carnegie, Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Morgan, Astor? Blood money from self-aggrandizing robber barons. Nat Rev

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2019, 06:44:08 AM »
Florida man arrested after being filmed wrestling fake alligator at mall

Gianny Sosa-Hernandez was charged with criminal mischief after damaging the display alligator at The Falls Shopping Center in Miami-Dade County, according to the Miami-Dade Police Department.

In the video, Sosa-Hernandez, 18, is seen removing his sweatshirt and running to the side of the display. He then jumps over the barrier, throwing the fake alligator off a rock and into the display's pond. Sosa-Hernandez picks up the alligator before performing a wrestling move on it that police identified as an R.K.O, a move popularized by WWE wrestler Randy Orton. He then pretends to pin the gator.

Police said the manager of the mall confirmed that the alligator, which was valued at $3,690, was damaged from the March 30 incident.


https://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-teenager-arrested-filmed-wrestling-fake-alligator-mall/story?id=62429533
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.


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