It is probably well-known here that there is no Constitutional requirement for a State of the Union address. Article II requires that the President shall from time to time provide Congress with information on the state of the union and recommend measures he finds necessary and expedient (my own paraphrase, but not too far off.) Among many other Presidents, Coolidge in particular, I believe, eschewed a live address and simply provided the information and recommended measures in writing. FDR resumed the practice of a live address and in the mass media age it has long been the norm.
Rather than continuing a p*****g contest with Pelosi, were I POTUS I would send over a one-pager with half a dozen legislative priorities and clear information on what I would do if they were, or were not, passed. I would simultaneously release via the internet a speech made from the Resolute desk in the Oval office, in which I described those priorities and made my case for them direct to the people. And I would do these things without warning or advance notice. Cut the media out of the process, don't enable the Democrats to show themselves in the House chamber all wearing color-coordinated protest clothing and shunning POTUS as he walks up the aisle, outflank an organized, formal opposition response address, and quickly and decisively end this part of the ongoing standoff.