It isn't all one or the other. For instance, I had an English teacher in college who loved poetry but was also on his college football team. He didn't seem the least bit effeminate to me.
Nothing wrong with liking literature, the arts, and rough sports at the same time.
Although it seems weird, I've know guys who loved loud, high decibel rock and roll and also classical music.
I'm not a member of the group that says all forms of love and sex are wonderful, but I enjoyed watching Liberace perform knowing full well he was a homosexual. One of my favorite classical music composers is Tchaikovsky.
But I like Clint Eastwood movies and other movies where there are good guys and bad guys, and the good guys win in the end.
I thought "No Country For Old Men" was ultimately dissatifying because Javier Bardem's evil character got away in the end.
I think it's hard-wired for most males to like tough males who make courageous decisions at the expense of their lives. My older brother was much tougher than me, and I admired him for that. If somebody crossed him, he throw down right then and there. And (almost) always win. At any rate I never saw him lose a fight. And few other boys tried to mess with him.
I'm not like that, but I'd rather boys be a little assertive and stand up for their rights than kowtow to bulllies. But if they like the arts, ballet, opera, etc., that's fine too.
I remember Roosevelt Grier doing needlepoint--and playing pro football--and tackling Sirhan Sirhan.
For a generation who grew up in the quiet shadow of the men who fought in WWII and Korea, and sometimes in the absence of those men, the concept of 'something greater than I, worthy of my sacrifice' was well ingrained.
That sacrifice often meant physical hardship, and the abilities which were developed in anticipation of perhaps having to endure such were part and parcel of "masculinity", as they have ever been in a chivalrous society. That, by no means precluded intelligence or taste. Talent was revered as well.
(Yep, we watched Liberace on television, and got the joke "I cut myself shaving. My legs are a mess!" But Liberace wasn't campaigning for social change, he just was what he was--accepted because of his talent. )
Who would say that the artist who painted the face of the Doge of Venice on one of the Devil's henchmen on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel wasn't masculine? (That took a pair!)
But basically, a man defended the weak, stood tall among equals, and knelt only before God. You stood up for what was right, even if it cost you. You did the right thing, and that was clearly delineated by basic morality common to the Judaeo-Christian ethos. It wasn't that difficult if you had principles to decide what was, indeed, right.
And the rough guide was ever to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
