Author Topic: Humor is Healthy (quarantined)  (Read 647 times)

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Offline mrclose

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Humor is Healthy (quarantined)
« on: April 07, 2020, 12:49:15 pm »
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.
The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune.
Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter -——
The Living Room or The Bedroom

Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.
Pajamas will have you believe all is well.

Homeschooling is going well.
2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.
It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN.
You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.
I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I’m so excited -— it’s time to take out the garbage.
What should I wear?

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under!!!!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: April 07, 2020, 12:52:34 pm by mrclose »
"Hell is empty, all the devil's are here!"
~ Self

Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: Humor is Healthy (quarantined)
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2020, 02:12:39 pm »
 :2popcorn:
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Humor is Healthy (quarantined)
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2020, 02:22:27 pm »
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline berdie

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Re: Humor is Healthy (quarantined)
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2020, 09:30:52 pm »
That's hilarious @mrclose . Thanks for the chuckle. :laugh: