I'm crying right now. And it is the hardest thing in life for me to admit this. But it is my duty to report that Judge Kavanaugh sexually abused me too as a child. And I'm a guy! Yes. It is true. Brett Kavanaugh is gay! I know this because we grew up together. But he's not just 'gay'. He's Richard Simmons 'super-gay' when he is off-duty and in the clubs.
It all started in 1973 when we were both 8 years old and we took a bath together. It was a lot of fun until he said, 'Your pee-pee is the same as mine!' This was devastating and humiliating to me. I didn't know he swung that way. His demeanor was such a way as to make me very uncomfortable. I discussed it with my mother at the time and debated whether or not we should report this 'sexual assault', and we research what legal actions would be appropriate. However, once it got to be my bed-time I stopped all the proceedings, and went to bed. When I woke up the next day, I forgot all about it until just now this very day. Now I intend to submit my story to the FBI for investigation. How can I live with myself if I let him 'get away' with this?
I am willing to swear on anything and to sign any document verifying that this is true for a retainer fee and guaranteed appearances on no less than three talk shows. Also, I need an agent to broker my book deal.
