Author Topic: Today's Toons 10/9/17  (Read 4940 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 10/9/17
« on: October 09, 2017, 10:19:35 am »

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
The Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears shook hands with each other and hugged each other before they stood on the sidelines for the National Anthem Thursday night. It all worked out just fine. It shows Americans that bi-partisan cooperation is achievable only through concussions.
 
President Trump told reporters Thursday that the NFL is risking going to hell over the player protests during the National Anthem. Hell was quick to respond. Mayor Rahm Emanuel said Chicago is a great sports town but there's no way they could support all thirty-two teams down there.
 
President Trump and Homeland Security officials were presented Friday with four prototypes of the border wall and now they will select the design they think will stop illegal crossings most effectively. Look at the success of the Great Wall of China. You hardly ever see a Mexican in Beijing.
 
Defense Secretary General James Mattis survived an attempt by the Taliban to try to kill him with a surprise attack on the Kabul airport when he paid U.S. troops a surprise visit last week. The general has a bear rug at home on the floor of his den. The bear is not dead, he's just afraid to move.
 
The Los Angeles Rams and Los Angeles Chargers got off to terrible starts this fall. The NFL is embarrassed by the low stadium attendance numbers. Last week, San Diego began construction on the border wall, but it wasn't to keep Mexicans out, it was to keep the Chargers from coming back.
 
The UN released a study showing that a proper diet is the key to peaceful development in the developing nations. There's increasing evidence that a society's diet affects their likelihood to be warlike. The most violent countries in the world seem to be the ones with the least amount of bacon.
 
Osama bin Laden's son took over al-Qaeda as their enlistment numbers crashed. There could soon be a dramatic decline in the number of suicide bombings by terrorists in the Middle East. They know there won't be seventy-two virgins left in Paradise for them now that Hefner's checked in.
 
NFL players locked arms on the sidelines before Monday and Thursday's games yet they stood for the national anthem. Sporting events are not the time or place for social justice protests. At U.S. chess tournaments do players kneel during the national anthem because white always gets to go first?
 
President Trump was ripped by ESPN for picking a fight with pro athletes over the National Anthem protests. Polls show two-thirds of Americans agreed with him. Last week, the Golden State Warriors joined Hillary Clinton among the number of people who won't be going to the White House.
 
London's Wembley Stadium hosted a game between the Miami Dolphins and the New Orleans Saints Sunday. The anthem controversy followed them there. Three of the Dolphins knelt during the Star Spangled Banner and then Queen Elizabeth came down from the stands and high-fived them.
 
CBS fired its chief lawyer after she posted on Facebook that the Las Vegas victims deserve no sympathy because country music fans vote Republican. The Red States should offer to get over the Civil War if the Blue States will get over Trump's election. That should keep the statues safe for another century or so.
 
Melania Trump sent nine Dr. Seuss books to a Cambridge, Massachusetts, public school library Friday. The librarian sent them back, calling Dr. Seuss books racist propaganda. Before the librarian would accept a Seuss book today, he'd have had to have written The Grinch Who Stole the Election.
 
The U.S. Monuments Commission said a fifty-foot-high statue of a nude woman will be built on the National Mall in D.C. Now that's my country. It took decades after their deaths for statues to be built honoring Lincoln, Jefferson and King, but it took five days to build one honoring Hugh Hefner.
 
The Supreme Court went into session Monday with a full docket of important cases including President Trump's controversial travel ban on travelers from seven terrorist-ridden nations from being allowed to enter the United States. The risks are too great. It's just too dangerous for them here.
 
The National Football League swirled in controversy Sunday over players on some teams who won't stand for the Anthem with sponsors pulling their TV commercials. Still, league marketing is smart. To jack up online sales, they send you a free can of lighter fluid with each NFL jersey you buy.
 
President Trump spent Wednesday consoling the people of Las Vegas after spending a month consoling the people of Texas, the people of Florida, and the people of Puerto Rico. It's starting to get to him, Last night at dinner, President Trump told his steak he's so sorry it had to end like this.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 

(Thank you, Oceander)

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 10/9/17
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2017, 10:33:46 am »
Thanks, pookie! :patriot:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/9/17
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2017, 10:38:00 am »
Thanks, pookie! :patriot:

You're welcome, Smokin Joe!

Online Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 10/9/17
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2017, 01:44:25 pm »
Thanks, Pookie!
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/9/17
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2017, 01:51:06 pm »
Thanks, Pookie!

My pleasure, Polly Ticks!