Author Topic: Too much Tinder: Why some single people are experiencing a dating burnout  (Read 13534 times)

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Online roamer_1

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I'm curious -- Have you tried telling her all that?  Because it sure would be a shame to have something like your inability to work like you're 20 years younger ruin what could otherwise be a great relationships.

Well, sure I have... She says I'm a straight shooter, and stubborn has hell... and that will get me through just on damn meanness. Other than that, let God have his way.

And in part, she'll be right - I don't have a reason to, and she's giving me one, and anyone that has had to recover from a major trouble will tell you that's half of it... And just maybe having a woman around to kick me in the ass might just make up for the other half. But that's a touchy business.

Looking at it without love in my eyes, that's a whole lot more than I can chew, if I let her under the bearskin. I'd sure hate it if I couldn't measure up.


Online corbe

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LOL.   How's that working out for you, Corbe?

   As @roamer_1 suggests and My Family agrees, I'm doing it wrong.
   After I get them out of the Mandatory Shower, 3 hours later, I want to burn my House down to get rid of them.
No government in the 12,000 years of modern mankind history has led its people into anything but the history books with a simple lesson, don't let this happen to you.

Offline Sanguine

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   As @roamer_1 suggests and My Family agrees, I'm doing it wrong.
   After I get them out of the Mandatory Shower, 3 hours later, I want to burn my House down to get rid of them.

Definitely sounds like there's a flaw in the plan somewhere.   :nometalk:

Offline mirraflake

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If my wife ever croaked not sure what I would do.

CDC just announced last week 1/2 the adult population (age 20 to 59)in the US has genital HPV.. .now that makes you feel good doesn't it?
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 09:04:26 pm by mirraflake »

Offline jmyrlefuller

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My eyes are always open, but I just live my life and don't worry about a partner anymore. It's just the times we live in and I've come to accept it.
Part of me wishes I could just go all Apostle Paul on the world and say I don't need it... but I'm flesh and blood. My reason for living is, essentially, to reproduce. If I die without doing that, biologically speaking, my whole life has been wasted. Furthermore I want to make sure that the offspring I do create is healthy and a net plus (or, at the very least, not a burden) to society, as I'd like to think I am, but the longer I wait, the higher that child's risk is of having serious problems, not the least of which is autism.

As a society, we can't keep going down this road of having fewer and fewer children at older and older ages. We can cut back on child-bearing if there are too many, but if too few are born to sustain it, you end up in a death spiral. I don't want a huge family by any means but I would like at least one healthy offspring to outlive me. To that end I'm seriously considering becoming a sperm donor at this point.
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Online Maj. Bill Martin

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Well, sure I have... She says I'm a straight shooter, and stubborn has hell... and that will get me through just on damn meanness. Other than that, let God have his way.

And in part, she'll be right - I don't have a reason to, and she's giving me one, and anyone that has had to recover from a major trouble will tell you that's half of it... And just maybe having a woman around to kick me in the ass might just make up for the other half. But that's a touchy business.

Looking at it without love in my eyes, that's a whole lot more than I can chew, if I let her under the bearskin. I'd sure hate it if I couldn't measure up.

Well...if the price you'd pay for some lovin' is to be a hired hand when you're past that age...I wouldn't do it either.

Offline mirraflake

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Part of me wishes I could just go all Apostle Paul on the world and say I don't need it... but I'm flesh and blood. My reason for living is, essentially, to reproduce. If I die without doing that, biologically speaking, my whole life has been wasted. Furthermore I want to make sure that the offspring I do create is healthy and a net plus (or, at the very least, not a burden) to society, as I'd like to think I am, but the longer I wait, the higher that child's risk is of having serious problems, not the least of which is autism.

As a society, we can't keep going down this road of having fewer and fewer children at older and older ages. We can cut back on child-bearing if there are too many, but if too few are born to sustain it, you end up in a death spiral. I don't want a huge family by any means but I would like at least one healthy offspring to outlive me. To that end I'm seriously considering becoming a sperm donor at this point.

After reading some of your post on other dating threads and now this one I can see why you are still single.

@jmyrlefuller

Offline Cripplecreek

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After reading some of your post on other dating threads and now this one I can see why you are still single.

@jmyrlefuller

Life is so much easier if we don't spend too much time worrying about these things.

Offline Victoria33

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That is quintessentially correct - Even though you make light of it. A marriage without Yahweh in the center will be at a terrible disadvantage.
There's tons of women out there looking for 'relationship', but damn few of them know what that means. Finding the one to ride the river with...
@roamer_1
@jmyrlefuller

My son wanted me to try a dating website.  I read men's "wantings" "requirements" regarding a mate.  What most of them wanted was a "guy", although they said "woman", who would go fishing, live in a tent, go hunting, and cook.  I crossed them out.  If one had a picture of himself and second, a picture of his motorcycle, I crossed him out. 

I had messages with some of them to help them find a mate.  Told them to write what they had to offer the woman, not just their wants.  Told them to include their religion and their political views.  Living with someone is more than "I like chocolate ice cream, do you?"

« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 09:28:21 pm by Victoria33 »

Online roamer_1

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Well...if the price you'd pay for some lovin' is to be a hired hand when you're past that age...I wouldn't do it either.

Aw, it ain't like that. She honors me. She makes it a point to honor me, in every way. She has a place at the head of her table, and she wants me there.

But with that comes expectations, made in good faith, that I will honor her. Which I would, to the best of my ability. It is my ability, in my mind, that is in question, or I think I'd be all in. I'm not doing right by her to commit to something I can't do.

We'll see what this year brings. 

Offline Idaho_Cowboy

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Aw, it ain't like that. She honors me. She makes it a point to honor me, in every way. She has a place at the head of her table, and she wants me there.

But with that comes expectations, made in good faith, that I will honor her. Which I would, to the best of my ability. It is my ability, in my mind, that is in question, or I think I'd be all in. I'm not doing right by her to commit to something I can't do.

We'll see what this year brings.
Seems to me you could teach a lot of these folks doing the online shopping routine a thing or two about what being a man really means.

I Hope it works out for you, however it plays out.

« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 09:43:33 pm by Idaho_Cowboy »
“The way I see it, every time a man gets up in the morning he starts his life over. Sure, the bills are there to pay, and the job is there to do, but you don't have to stay in a pattern. You can always start over, saddle a fresh horse and take another trail.” ― Louis L'Amour

Offline mirraflake

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@roamer_1
@jmyrlefuller

  I read men's "wantings" "requirements" regarding a mate.  What most of them wanted was a "guy", although they said "woman", who would go fishing, live in a tent, go hunting, and cook.  I crossed them out.  If one had a picture of himself and second, a picture of his motorcycle, I crossed him out. 

I had messages with some of them to help them find a mate.  Told them to write what they had to offer the woman, not just their wants. 

I see nothing wrong is saying what you want. Better than beating around the bush and wasting time. If a woman did not want my hobbies as part of her life don't waste my time and vica versa. I know plenty of women who love motorcycles, own them and love to ride. having a pic of your motorcycle is a eye catcher and instant possible bond if she likes them as well.

Why in today's societies articles are written everywhere what men need to do at work, in the bedroom and life to please  a woman and make them happy? You never see artickles written what women need to do today to make men happy.

@Victoria33

P.S. My wife has an  incredibly expensive horse hobby. She told me on our first date within 10 minutes she goes to horse shows all summer and spends an ungodly amount on them and if I did not like that well that was the end of that.

I told her I had an incredibly expensive antique car hobby and I went to car shows all summer and we both laughed and said we can pool are money to buy a  pickup to pull our respective trailers.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 10:00:46 pm by mirraflake »

Offline Cripplecreek

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It may seem kind of cliche but its entirely possible that I could end up marrying a lifelong female friend who has joked with me many times over the years of getting married later in life if we were alone.

We're very comfortable together and our trust is near absolute. Our families are almost family now from all the years we spent together in an isolated rural town. 90% of our friends are mutual friends so there are no jealousies, suspicions or defensiveness.

Hell, I held hands with her dad and skipped around the yard singing "We're gonna get some bee-er" after winning a game of horseshoes against her brothers.

Offline mirraflake

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It may seem kind of cliche but its entirely possible that I could end up marrying a lifelong female friend who has joked with me many times over the years of getting married later in life if we were alone.

We're very comfortable together and our trust is near absolute. Our families are almost family now from all the years we spent together in an isolated rural town. 90% of our friends are mutual friends so there are no jealousies, suspicions or defensiveness.


Sounds like you would be  marrying as friends and not romantic partners with physical chemistry. I think it would be doomed.

@Cripplecreek

Offline Sanguine

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Sounds like you would be  marrying as friends and not romantic partners with physical chemistry. I think it would be doomed.

@Cripplecreek

That's an interesting thought, @mirraflake.  I think marrying clearmindedly might work out just fine, especially for more....um, mature people.  They're probably way ahead of the game if they are are already good friends with their spouse-to-be.   

Offline mirraflake

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That's an interesting thought, @mirraflake.  I think marrying clearmindedly might work out just fine, especially for more....um, mature people.  They're probably way ahead of the game if they are are already good friends with their spouse-to-be.

I was best/good friends with my wife for the 2 years we dated but I also was huugley physically attracted as was she.

Cripplecreeks situation me thinks would quickly turn into the proverbial lesbian bed of death. if you are not sure what that means look it up.

Why be married if there is no physical attraction and ROMANCE??

@Sanguine
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 10:12:44 pm by mirraflake »

Online roamer_1

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@roamer_1
@jmyrlefuller

My son wanted me to try a dating website.  I read men's "wantings" "requirements" regarding a mate.  What most of them wanted was a "guy", although they said "woman", who would go fishing, live in a tent, go hunting, and cook.  I crossed them out.  If one had a picture of himself and second, a picture of his motorcycle, I crossed him out. 

I had messages with some of them to help them find a mate.  Told them to write what they had to offer the woman, not just their wants.  Told them to include their religion and their political views.  Living with someone is more than "I like chocolate ice cream, do you?"

@Victoria33
I gave up on dating sites a long time ago. believe me, what you describe seems exactly the same from the other way around. All these women trying to recapture their youth... I don't need a grandma dressed in a miniskirt and fishnet stockings ready for a night on the town.... *SHUDDER*

I need a woman capable of stepping into the role that is vacant - Not only a wife and a lover, but a matriarch, a mother, and a grandmother...

Those are huge shoes to fill.

Offline Sanguine

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I was best/good friends with my wife for the 2 years we dated but I also was huugley physically attracted as was she.

Cripplecreeks situation me thinks would quickly turn into the proverbial lesbian bed of death. if you are not sure what that means look it up.

@Sanguine

I've never heard that term before!  Not sure I should look it up.  But, I probably will. 

Edited to add -   Got it: 
http://youtu.be/3L8eZ-xUaXw
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 10:14:36 pm by Sanguine »

Offline mirraflake

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I've never heard that term before!  Not sure I should look it up.  But, I probably will. 

Edited to add -   Got it: 
http://youtu.be/3L8eZ-xUaXw

See my modified remark above about a relationship with no physical attraction or romance. Heck they would be living as brother and sister. If cripplecreeks "friend" was interested in him romantically she would have made the move by now.

@Sanguine

Offline mirraflake

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I've never heard that term before!  Not sure I should look it up.  But, I probably will. 

Edited to add -   Got it: 
http://youtu.be/3L8eZ-xUaXw

That's not it lol. Lesbian death bed refers to lesbiians who have no romantic interest, stop having sex and just live together very common in lesbian relationships.

@Sanguine

Offline Fishrrman

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Free Vulcan wrote:
"People have changed in the last 10 years. 8 years of Obama in particular, and all the lefty political, social, and pop culture crap that came out during his admin I noticed have fundamentally changed both men and women. We have become a carnival society that is completely ungrounded and entirely focused on self and the social, and not in the good way. We've been a sheep culture for awhile, but now it's online and live and metastasizing."

Had lunch with a long-time friend a few days' back.

We were talking about islam. He said that he thought America would be a muslim nation in fifty years.

My friend is quite the thoughtful guy (having written a couple of small books after being a railroad engineer for 34 years). I remember saying to him that I didn't think that could happen here in only fifty years, that it would take longer, say 75-100.

But after considering your remarks above, I'm almost re-thinking that.

islam stands ready to rush into the vacuum left by a rapidly degenerating "West".
The amount of time it will take to accomplish this may be less than we think...

Offline Fishrrman

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roamer_1 wrote:
"She's already measured me out for new buckskins...."

Heh.
Does this gal have a sister ??

Online roamer_1

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Seems to me you could teach a lot of these folks doing the online shopping routine a thing or two about what being a man really means.

I Hope it works out for you, however it plays out.

Thanks for that @Idaho_Cowboy !
High praise, coming from you. I am glad someone else gets what I mean.

Online roamer_1

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It may seem kind of cliche but its entirely possible that I could end up marrying a lifelong female friend who has joked with me many times over the years of getting married later in life if we were alone.

We're very comfortable together and our trust is near absolute. Our families are almost family now from all the years we spent together in an isolated rural town. 90% of our friends are mutual friends so there are no jealousies, suspicions or defensiveness.

Hell, I held hands with her dad and skipped around the yard singing "We're gonna get some bee-er" after winning a game of horseshoes against her brothers.

Not cliche at all... That's better than anything elsewhere. There's more to it at our age than what folks are looking for. That she has long standing with yourself and especially your family makes for a pretty good pick, in my mind.

Online roamer_1

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That's an interesting thought, @mirraflake.  I think marrying clearmindedly might work out just fine, especially for more....um, mature people.  They're probably way ahead of the game if they are are already good friends with their spouse-to-be.

That's my thinking too, @Sanguine .