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Nice!  Thanks for posting. 

I'll update when I can, at least weekly



Reads pretty good,but if it were me,I'd loss any hint of homosexual affections like "Oh,dear!" Most file clerks all over the world are no more homosexual than most truck drivers. It's just a job/career field they "fall into" early,and the job security is what lulls them into staying. The job may not pay much or have much status,but at least the work and the pay are stable,and they can begin to think about starting families based on that stability.  Most people aren't into taking chances. They will go for the sure thing every time over taking a chance that could pay them several times more IF it works out.  They are not risk takers/adventurers. That is pretty much how it has to be because it is these people that provide the stability you need to establish and maintain a civilization. If risk takers/adventurers were the majority,chances are we would all still be members of wandering tribes.

In MY opinion,which is free and worth every nickel it costs you,if you demean the character of your main character you will alienate the majority of your readers who would have identified with him. Everybody may want to be the hero,they they identify with the typical man or woman. Pull them in with a "hero" they can identify with,and then you can get them emotionally involved as he or she evolves and morphs into becoming a risk taker and leader instead of a human drone and follower.

Don't get me wrong. Most people don't hate a homosexual of effeminate male,but they damn sure don't identify with him,either. You might as well have a main character with a third eye in the center of his forehead so he can see better. Make his foes abnormal to your hearts content. It would even help your story line because it gives you a wider world of possibilities for the personalities and actions of the opposition characters,but you can't do this with your main character any more than you can start your main character off as a Ben Hur character. Readers need a main character that grows and evolves so they get interested in following him to see "where" he goes and the process that takes him there.


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