Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 528630 times)

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Online Free Vulcan

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1325 on: May 06, 2018, 05:36:25 am »
Woman fined after urine sample damages 7-Eleven microwave, police say

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/05/06/woman-fined-after-urine-sample-damages-7-eleven-microwave-police-say.html

A Denver woman was cited Thursday for allegedly causing damage to a 7-Eleven store's microwave oven when she tried to heat a urine sample, authorities said.

A store clerk reported seeing the suspect, identified as Angelique Sanchez, 26, place something in the Aurora, Colo., store’s microwave before hearing a “loud bang” seconds later, Denver’s KUSA-TV reported, citing an Aurora Police Department report.

The clerk reportedly told Sanchez to clean up the mess or she would alert police. Sanchez then “wiped out the microwave onto the floor” with napkins and left, Pueblo’s KOAA-TV reported, also citing the police report...

The Republic is lost.

Offline sneakypete

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1326 on: May 06, 2018, 01:48:56 pm »
Woman fined after urine sample damages 7-Eleven microwave, police say

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/05/06/woman-fined-after-urine-sample-damages-7-eleven-microwave-police-say.html

A Denver woman was cited Thursday for allegedly causing damage to a 7-Eleven store's microwave oven when she tried to heat a urine sample, authorities said.

A store clerk reported seeing the suspect, identified as Angelique Sanchez, 26, place something in the Aurora, Colo., store’s microwave before hearing a “loud bang” seconds later, Denver’s KUSA-TV reported, citing an Aurora Police Department report.

The clerk reportedly told Sanchez to clean up the mess or she would alert police. Sanchez then “wiped out the microwave onto the floor” with napkins and left, Pueblo’s KOAA-TV reported, also citing the police report...

If that is the best plan she can come up with to pass a piss test,she is on her way back to jail.
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Online mountaineer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1327 on: May 06, 2018, 02:41:37 pm »
If that is the best plan she can come up with to pass a piss test,she is on her way back to jail.
I guess she thought she could boil all the drugs out of it.  :thud:
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Online mountaineer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1328 on: May 06, 2018, 02:46:38 pm »
Flaming Kites From Gaza Thwarted by Winds
By Iyad Abuheweila and Isabel Kershner
May 4, 2018

BUREIJ, Gaza Strip — Gaza’s flaming-kite squadrons had worked for days to prepare for Friday’s protest along the border with Israel, building hundreds of flimsy-framed sails with tails meant to carry crude incendiary devices, like rags soaked in gasoline.

Their battle plan was to fly them in swarms into Israel with the aim of igniting the dry fields of the rural communities on the other side of the border fence. They were counting on help from a heavy heat wave to fan the fires.

But the plan largely failed because of another quirk of nature: The wind was blowing the other way.

Instead, the protesters claimed another David vs. Goliath kind of aerial victory, saying they had downed two Israeli military surveillance drones with stones hurled from slingshots. ...  New York Times
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1329 on: May 06, 2018, 03:16:39 pm »
I guess she thought she could boil all the drugs out of it.  :thud:

Maybe the sample belonged to someone other than her and she had to bring it up to body temperature to turn it in?

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1330 on: May 06, 2018, 03:23:11 pm »
Maybe the sample belonged to someone other than her and she had to bring it up to body temperature to turn it in?
That, too! Maybe the "clean" friend has a supply of urine in the freezer for all her druggie friends. $25 a pop, you have to warm it up.  :laugh:
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Offline Sanguine

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1331 on: May 06, 2018, 03:38:49 pm »
That, too! Maybe the "clean" friend has a supply of urine in the freezer for all her druggie friends. $25 a pop, you have to warm it up.  :laugh:

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1332 on: May 06, 2018, 03:50:16 pm »
Maybe the sample belonged to someone other than her and she had to bring it up to body temperature to turn it in?

I'm sure of that, actually.  She likely miscalculated the time required to heat it up.  Convenience store microwave ovens are much more powerful than kitchen models.  That sample was for a drug screen.
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1333 on: May 06, 2018, 06:28:09 pm »
I guess she thought she could boil all the drugs out of it.  :thud:

@mountaineer

LOL! You may be right! I hadn't even thought of that.
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1334 on: May 06, 2018, 06:32:09 pm »
Maybe the sample belonged to someone other than her and she had to bring it up to body temperature to turn it in?

@Sanguine

Yup. I do not know this for a fact,but I have been told that some people on parole have been known to buy urine to help them pass the drug tests so they can remain on parole.

I'm thinking these people must not want to stay out of prison all that much. The simplest thing to do would to just not do any drugs until you are off probation. If you can't do that,you are so simple-minded you might be better off in prison,where you have people to tell you when to eat,sleep,and wake up.
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Offline Hoodat

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1335 on: May 06, 2018, 08:49:11 pm »
If that is the best plan she can come up with to pass a piss test,she is on her way back to jail.

Here's how you pass a piss test:

! No longer available
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1336 on: May 06, 2018, 10:47:00 pm »
Here's how you pass a piss test:

! No longer available

@Hoodat

Ahhh,Frank Gallager! There ain't NOTHING he won't do to try to beat a system,ANY system. "Shameless" is not only the most accurately named series to ever air on television,but maybe also the funniest. I never miss a episode.

Remember when the kids discovered that Frank had been lying to them about them needing to collect rent money for him to send to their aunt in Wyoming,and that he had just buried her out in the back yard after she OD'd one night at a party?

He  had not only been collecting non-existent rent money from his own children and keeping it for himself to buy drugs and drink,but had been cashing her SS checks for years.  IIRC,the truth came out when they got a letter from the city saying they were going to dig up the back yard to replace the water lines. She was buried right next to the water line.

I also loved the story line where his mother was got an early release from prison because she was dying from cancer,and came home to live with Frank and her grandchildren. She may have been the only person in the world that scared him to death.  She even helped his 10 year old son start up a meth lab in the basement,"Because the boy is ten,and needs to learn a trade." How's THAT for a "Hallmark Moment"?

« Last Edit: May 06, 2018, 10:47:45 pm by sneakypete »
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1337 on: May 07, 2018, 12:55:03 pm »
Quote
Couple gets ‘creepy’ note from neighbors sick of seeing them naked
By Dorothea Jacobs, The Sun
May 6, 2018 | 8:21pm

A young couple was shocked to receive an angry letter from their neighbors which claimed to be sick of seeing them naked.

Karin and Jay Stone from Lemington, a town in northeast England, were baffled by the nasty note which comments on the size of their body parts – supposedly seen by the writer through their windows.  ...

The anonymous note reads: “Would you please close your blinds when getting dressed or undressing.  We are sick of seeing big bum big boobs and little willy [sic] and we will report you both for indecent exposure.

“Your neighbors.”  ...
More at the NY Post
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1338 on: May 07, 2018, 10:08:18 pm »
I guess she thought she could boil all the drugs out of it.  :thud:
They buy (yes, buy) clean urine samples in case they get a random test or pre-employment test. Problem is, any more the temperature gets checked, and 'cold' samples are rejected, requiring an on the spot re-test. So they will try most anything to get the sample up to temp because otherwise they'll fail the drug test.

A driller who had become somewhat erratic tried the same stunt on an oil rig I worked on and when the cold sample was rejected, failed his actual test (losing a $100K+ job in the process).  :shrug:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
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C S Lewis

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1339 on: May 07, 2018, 10:39:52 pm »
They buy (yes, buy) clean urine samples in case they get a random test or pre-employment test. Problem is, any more the temperature gets checked, and 'cold' samples are rejected, requiring an on the spot re-test. So they will try most anything to get the sample up to temp because otherwise they'll fail the drug test.

A driller who had become somewhat erratic tried the same stunt on an oil rig I worked on and when the cold sample was rejected, failed his actual test (losing a $100K+ job in the process).  :shrug:

Measuring the temperature of the urine has been part of the corporate drug testing protocol for at least two decades.  I assumed from the top, when I first read this story, warming up the specimen is what the subject was trying to do.

Additionally, there is a cottage industry that sprang up when corporate drug testing became widespread:  Legitimate sales of "clean" urine to the labs doing the testing, for instrument calibration.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1340 on: May 07, 2018, 10:43:02 pm »
Measuring the temperature of the urine has been part of the corporate drug testing protocol for at least two decades.  I assumed from the top, when I first read this story, warming up the specimen is what the subject was trying to do.

Additionally, there is a cottage industry that sprang up when corporate drug testing became widespread:  Legitimate sales of "clean" urine to the labs doing the testing, for instrument calibration.
That would beat donating blood..... :shrug:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1341 on: May 07, 2018, 11:03:15 pm »
That would beat donating blood..... :shrug:

Makes me glad I don't work for a lab that does these "bodily fluid" testing (or the calibration labs).
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1342 on: May 07, 2018, 11:32:35 pm »
Makes me glad I don't work for a lab that does these "bodily fluid" testing (or the calibration labs).
Me, too, but it seems they always have job openings....
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1343 on: May 10, 2018, 12:58:25 pm »
Another vomit alert.
Quote
Tennessee man accused of sex act with horse twice in one week
By Circa


NASHVILLE, Tenn. - A 30-year-old Tennessee man has been jailed on two counts of sex act with an animal in Madison County.

According to the arrest warrants for Michael Jemison, he was captured after owners of the horse reviewed surveillance video to watch the recently pregnant horse give birth.

While reviewing the footage captured on April 29, the owner observed Jemison enter the barn and engage in multiple forms of intercourse with the horse.

The owner called a veterinarian who took swabs and submitted the DNA evidence to police along with the video. ...
https://www.circa.com/story/2018/05/09/whoa/tennessee-man-accused-of-sex-act-with-horse-twice-in-one-week

I had to show the URL. Whoa!  :laugh:
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1344 on: May 11, 2018, 01:29:45 am »

‘Lunacy of the left’: ‘Sex expert’ urges parents to ask newborns for consent for diaper changes [Video]

The American Mirror
MAY 10, 2018
BY VICTOR SKINNER

Self-professed “sexuality educator, speaker and author” Deanne Carson is on the front lines of combating the so-called “rape culture,” working to replace it with a “culture of consent” beginning at birth.

Carson appeared with florescent pink hair on ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) in Melbourne, Australia this week to discuss consent laws and advocate for parents to broach the subject with their children well before they’re able to understand the concept.

(more)
http://www.theamericanmirror.com/lunacy-of-the-left-sex-expert-urges-parents-to-ask-newborns-for-consent-for-diaper-changes/
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

Online mountaineer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1345 on: May 11, 2018, 01:46:33 am »
Quote
“’I’m going to change your nappy now, is that okay?’ Of course the baby is not going to respond ‘yes mum, that’s awesome. I’d love to have my nappy changed,’” she said.

“But if you leave space, and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact, then you’re letting that child know that their response matters,” Carson said.
I have the distinct impression this stupid woman has never ever been in the presence of an infant.
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1346 on: May 11, 2018, 01:48:07 am »
Another vomit alert.https://www.circa.com/story/2018/05/09/whoa/tennessee-man-accused-of-sex-act-with-horse-twice-in-one-week

I had to show the URL. Whoa!  :laugh:

@mountaineer

I am predicting this is not a man who is going to do well in prison.
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1347 on: May 11, 2018, 01:51:50 am »
I have the distinct impression this stupid woman has never ever been in the presence of an infant.

She most certainly has never been a mother, and therefore doesn't have a single clue what she is talking about. Wake up at 3a.m. to a screaming child groggy and half-asleep and I'm going to ask permission to change a diaper? Maybe I should have to ask my dog for permission to give it a bath?

It says, Lunacy on the Left for a reason.
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1348 on: May 12, 2018, 03:16:34 am »

Quote
Bear breaks into SUV in Morris County, eats 24 cupcakes
ROCKAWAY TOWNSHIP -

A Morris County family says that a bear broke into their SUV overnight and ate two dozen cupcakes that were inside.

Christine Allen owns the popular vegan shop Mo’Pweeze Baker in Denville. The Rockaway Township resident says that the bear broke into her SUV early Thursday morning and ate the treats that were inside.

“Every time we heard a little sound or noise we were just on edge thinking that it's going to come back,” Allen says.

Read more at: http://newjersey.news12.com/story/38172752/bear-breaks-into-suv-in-morris-county-eats-24-cupcakes

If one goes on to read the rest of the story, yes, the bear broke windows to enter the vehicle. Must have smelled the cupcakes.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #1349 on: May 12, 2018, 01:02:05 pm »
The bear ate two dozen vegan cupcakes? Was he later found saying, "Yecchh, what the heck was that?!?"
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