Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 528871 times)

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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #850 on: June 04, 2017, 07:28:06 pm »
Man mowing lawn near tornado "was keeping an eye on it"


This Canuck has a very large pair! 

http://www.kwqc.com/content/news/Man-mowing-lawn-near-tornado-says-he-was-keeping-an-eye-on-it-426305481.html

Oceander

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #851 on: June 04, 2017, 07:29:24 pm »
Yes he does. 

Offline musiclady

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #852 on: June 04, 2017, 08:50:57 pm »
Yes he does.

And absolutely NO functioning brain cells.......... 
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Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #853 on: June 04, 2017, 09:32:24 pm »
And absolutely NO functioning brain cells..........

He may be safe from the twister, but he's open for a good lightning strike pushing that nice metal lawnmower around that great big flat area.
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Offline Cripplecreek

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #854 on: June 04, 2017, 09:45:47 pm »
He may be safe from the twister, but he's open for a good lightning strike pushing that nice metal lawnmower around that great big flat area.

People seem to be increasingly foolish about lightning. I see people out on the lake here all the time with thunder rumbling and lightning flashing on the horizon.

When I know weather is heading in my direction I keep an eye on the sky and even dark clouds can send me edging toward where I launched the boat. Distant thunder sends me on a bee line for the launch and close thunder sends me to hug the shoreline and toward the launch.


Offline Cyber Liberty

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #855 on: June 04, 2017, 11:26:23 pm »
People seem to be increasingly foolish about lightning. I see people out on the lake here all the time with thunder rumbling and lightning flashing on the horizon.

When I know weather is heading in my direction I keep an eye on the sky and even dark clouds can send me edging toward where I launched the boat. Distant thunder sends me on a bee line for the launch and close thunder sends me to hug the shoreline and toward the launch.

My brother and I were on a boat on Duck Lake once (North of Albion) and a storm surprised us.  We noticeed our hair was standing on end, and had an "Oh Shit" moment.  We got low in the boat and beat it to the launch ASAP and got the snot outta there.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #856 on: June 05, 2017, 06:29:54 pm »
I do usually try to steer clear of the  "dumb criminals" stories. This one was too perfect to pass up.

Man flashing money on Facebook Live arrested on drug charges

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- A Florida man joyfully flashing money live on the internet got a sudden surprise when police officers barged in and arrested him for allegedly selling drugs.

A man identified by the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office as 22-year-old Breon Hollings went on Facebook Live to show friends a handful of money, saying, "It don't stop, man, it don't stop."

He then retrieves more money from another room and starts shuffling it when he hears Jacksonville officers warning over a loudspeaker they are about to raid the house. A stunned Hollings runs out of the room. Seconds later, officers barge in. Hollings was arrested off camera.

More: http://www.pennlive.com/nation-world/2017/06/man_flashing_money_on_facebook.html
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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #857 on: June 05, 2017, 06:45:57 pm »
Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice

He was laid back with his mind on his money and his money on his mind

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #858 on: June 06, 2017, 10:47:16 pm »
People rescued after apartment removes stairs

DEKALB COUNTY, Ga. - Firefighters rescued several people trapped on the second floor of an apartment building after the complex removed the stairs.

The staircase at the Maple Walk Apartments in Decatur is the only way in and out of several homes.

“This is crazy. How can you cut off access to the stairs and everybody's in their apartments?” neighbor Andre Williams said.

Neighbors told Channel 2’s Sophia Choi they woke up to the stairs being removed and no way to get down.

“What if there's a fire or anything? Or someone hyperventilates, anything, any health problems?" Quintas Harris asked.

They found notices on their doors saying there would be no access to the stairs until Thursday.

“They gave us no notice. No nothing. They were already taking the stairs down when we got the notice this morning,” Shawnta Tiller said.

Choi tried to get a comment from complex managers but no one answered the door or returned her call. The fire marshal wasn’t able to reach them either.

Video: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/dekalb-county/2nd-floor-residents-trapped-after-apartment-removes-stairs/530037876
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #859 on: June 06, 2017, 10:51:28 pm »
With a headline like this, it had to be included.

Post-Coital Battery Bust For Porn Star

JUNE 5--A porn actress is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly socking her boyfriend in the face during a post-coital quarrel, police report.

According to investigators, Lauren Kaye Scott walloped the victim Saturday in his Pinellas Park home. The man suffered a “swollen lip with a cut” during the 4:55 AM confrontation, a police officer stated.

As detailed in an arrest affidavit, the 23-year-old Scott “would not get off the phone” after having sex with her boyfriend, who asked Scott to leave the residence. Scott, cops say, “became upset” and struck her beau of six months in the face.

More: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/domestic-battery-bust-for-adult-actress-890374

Apparently she's asked the judge nicely if she can leave Florida to go back to her husband, Milo's booking agent.  *****rollingeyes*****
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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #860 on: June 06, 2017, 11:20:08 pm »
Wow.  You just can't make these things up! 

Oh...Those stills vs the mug shot are very telling!   ouch.

Offline Sanguine

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #861 on: June 06, 2017, 11:33:44 pm »
Her mama must be so proud... **nononono*

Offline Old Warrior in Exile

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #862 on: June 06, 2017, 11:39:55 pm »
Oh...Those stills vs the mug shot are very telling!   ouch.

Yep.

She sho' is ugly.

Certainly not worth a postcoital punch in the mouth.
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #863 on: June 07, 2017, 12:20:14 am »
Yep.

She sho' is ugly.

Certainly not worth a postcoital punch in the mouth.
Late model, but high mileage...
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #864 on: June 07, 2017, 12:37:51 am »
Late model, but high mileage...

Corp Lease return.

Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #865 on: June 07, 2017, 01:05:47 am »
With a headline like this, it had to be included.

Post-Coital Battery Bust For Porn Star

JUNE 5--A porn actress is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly socking her boyfriend in the face during a post-coital quarrel, police report.




Danger Zone 

Offline Old Warrior in Exile

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #866 on: June 07, 2017, 03:28:36 am »
Quote
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

June 6, 2017

AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.

Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”

His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.

http://babylonbee.com/news/man-identifying-6-year-old-crushes-game-winning-homer-tee-ball-championship/
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Offline Old Warrior in Exile

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #867 on: June 07, 2017, 03:31:28 am »
You see, this is just a glimpse of how absurd this nonsense is going to get, folks.
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Online mountaineer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #868 on: June 07, 2017, 11:31:46 am »
Not to worry, BabylonBee is like the Onion. #fakenews   ^-^
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Offline Cripplecreek

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #869 on: June 07, 2017, 11:57:16 am »
With a headline like this, it had to be included.

Post-Coital Battery Bust For Porn Star



(the victim)Lecompte-Goble has recently worked as booking agent for Milo Yiannopoulos, the alt-right author/provocateur. Lecompte-Goble’s Facebook page lists him as “Chief Product Officer” for Yiannopoulos.

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #870 on: June 07, 2017, 12:49:56 pm »
Not to worry, BabylonBee is like the Onion. #fakenews   ^-^
@Old Warrior in Exile I believe we used to call that "satire", as other headlines on the site show.
Quote
Pentagon Officials Scramble To Change Nuclear Code From ‘Covfefe’

or

California Christians Must Now Register Bibles As Assault Weapons
Unfortunately, what used to be the exclusive territory of satire is ever merging with reality, and it is no less ridiculous for some 35 year old guy to 'identify' as a teenage girl than it is for one to identify as a six year old t-ball player. At least the (fictitious) ball player knew which restroom to use.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2017, 12:52:16 pm by Smokin Joe »
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #871 on: June 07, 2017, 12:51:56 pm »
It belongs. There are many ways in which things (or people) are ridiculous.  ^-^
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Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #872 on: June 07, 2017, 12:54:00 pm »
It belongs. There are many ways in which things (or people) are ridiculous.  ^-^
If you backtrack the extrapolations found in satire, you often find these have a root somewhere in a real story that might not be quite so ridiculous, but is certainly pointing in that direction.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #873 on: June 07, 2017, 12:55:48 pm »
I thought everyone would figure it was satire when i posted it.  But in this mixed up, muddled up, shook up world where girls will be boys, and boys will be girls, and white will be black it's hard to tell anymore.  My bad.  :(

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #874 on: June 07, 2017, 01:55:23 pm »
I thought everyone would figure it was satire when i posted it.  But in this mixed up, muddled up, shook up world where girls will be boys, and boys will be girls, and white will be black it's hard to tell anymore.  My bad.  :(
LOL(A)!  :silly:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis