Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 527684 times)

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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2016, 06:40:39 pm »

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #51 on: January 07, 2016, 12:59:33 pm »
This one is mainly for the headline.

Israeli Reporter Gets Stabbed While Testing Stab-Proof Vest

An Israeli reporter has been stabbed on the job while testing a “stab-proof” protective vest.

Eitam Lachover was filming a segment about a company designing the vests when he decided to be part of the demonstration.

The Channel 1 reporter had agreed to test the hardware, to prove the importance of the gear, but ended up injured.

Skip to 1:00 on the video above to watch the demonstration.

isreali stab proof
Eitam Lachover accidentally gets stabbed while testing a stab-proof vest

In a statement to Israeli paper The Globes, the company said Lachover suffered the injury only because he “moved” during the take.

“The knife did not penetrate the vest. The reporter moved during the demonstration, and the ‘stabber’ missed the vest. The reporter was stabbed slightly above the vest,” the company said.

Lachover only suffered a light injury to his upper back after the accident and the manufacturers are still are confident the item is safe.

He later said on Twitter that he got stitches and was discharged from the hospital.

And yes, it's on video: http://reportuk.org/2016/01/israeli-reporter-gets-stabbed-while-testing-stab-proof-vest/
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #52 on: January 08, 2016, 10:54:06 pm »
The man with a bionic penis will lose his virginity to a dominatrix who ran for parliament

A man whose penis was ripped off in a road accident, and who has subsequently received surgery to fit an 8-inch bionic penis, is to lose his virginity to an “award winning” dominatrix who unsuccessfully ran for parliament.

Mohammed Abad, from Edinburgh, was run over when he was six years old in Huddersfield, in 1978. During the accident his penis was sliced off as he was dragged 600ft by a car.

Mr Abad had surgery to fit a fully functional 8 inch bionic penis in 2012. The organ has two tubes which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

Abad said:

    I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year.

    My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.


http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-will-lose-his-virginity-to-a-dominatrix-who-ran-for-parliament--WJY00cYJhg
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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #53 on: January 09, 2016, 12:02:30 am »

Well...

Well.

Okay, I can't come up with a comment. Except to say I wouldn't want my sex life to be a matter of public curiosity. I value modesty and my privacy too much.

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #54 on: January 09, 2016, 12:11:12 am »
42 years old and still a virgin.  I just wonder if this bionic penis enables him to "feel" what's going on? 

Just curious.   :shrug:

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Offline 240B

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #55 on: January 09, 2016, 12:17:50 am »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.
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Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #56 on: January 09, 2016, 01:01:00 am »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.

Oh my!   ***cool cat***

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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #57 on: January 09, 2016, 11:52:13 am »
See above ridiculous news story for full effect:

The man with a bionic penis was in a bad car crash, will now have to wait to lose his virginity

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-was-in-a-bad-car-crash-will-now-have-to-wait-to-lose-his-virginity--bJQJ5B6fhl


God REALLY doesn't want him to have sex.
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Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #58 on: January 14, 2016, 05:30:26 am »
Maybe the guy with the bionic penis should get together with this guy.

"A man thought to be Britain's most prolific sperm donor has fathered an unbelievable 800 children after selling his semen for £50 a go.

Simon Watson, 41, has been flogging his "magic potion" for 16 years and becomes a dad around once a week.

He now sells his sperm on Facebook and has raked in at least £40,000 for his efforts.

The rogue donor advertises his so-called "ammo" on Facebook and other internet selling sites, and at just £50 a pot Simon has a constant stream of business - and babies.

Dad-of-three Simon, from Luton, Bedfordshire, said: "My friends and family know everything about what I do, I've got no secrets."

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/super-dad-sperm-donor-800-7170289
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Offline PzLdr

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #59 on: January 14, 2016, 03:56:14 pm »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.

Like most guys, I'd probably go for one the size of "the Paris Gun".
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #60 on: January 15, 2016, 09:12:40 pm »
The man with a bionic penis will lose his virginity to a dominatrix who ran for parliament


Mohammed Abad, from Edinburgh, was run over when he was six years old in Huddersfield, in 1978. During the accident his penis was sliced off as he was dragged 600ft by a car.



http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-will-lose-his-virginity-to-a-dominatrix-who-ran-for-parliament--WJY00cYJhg

If Lil Mo became a suicide bomber would he get 72 Bionic Virgins? :pondering:

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #61 on: January 15, 2016, 09:17:04 pm »
Nah. Milking machine.
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Offline EdinVA

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #62 on: January 15, 2016, 09:28:06 pm »
Nah. Milking machine.

 :silly: geez EC...

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #63 on: January 15, 2016, 09:28:52 pm »
Well, Hold the udder budder and turn it up to 11!
     


 :silly:

Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #64 on: January 17, 2016, 06:53:18 am »
This one might be the weirdest. It is certainly among the top 5.

"Rutgers Professor Raped Man With Cerebral Palsy In Her Office, Goes To Jail"

"The former chairwoman of the Rutgers University Philosophy Department will go to jail for as many as 12 years in New Jersey State Prison for repeatedly sexually assaulting a disabled man in her school office, Acting Essex County Prosecutor Carolyn A. Murray has announced.

Siobhan Teare, state Superior Court judge, handed down the sentence on Friday.

On Oct. 2, 2015, an Essex County jury convicted Marjorie Anna Stubblefield, 46, of West Orange of two counts of first degree aggravated sexual assault for repeatedly engaging in sexual acts with a man suffering from cerebral palsy who was unable to speak or communicate.

The victim wears a diaper and requires assistance with basic needs such as eating, walking and bathing and has the mental capacity of a toddler, according to the ECPO.

Under the No Early Release Act, she must serve 85 percent of her sentence before she is eligible for parole. In addition, she will have to register under Megan’s Law when she is released from prison and she has been disqualified from public employment.

Assistant Prosecutor Eric Plant, who tried the case, said Professor Stubblefield “was a trusted and respected member of the university community who used her position to prey on the victim. What she did was not only criminal, it was cruel.”

“Knowing how desperately families of disabled individuals are for some hope, she mislead the victim’s family into believing that she was making progress in helping their son to communicate while all the while she was simply satisfying her own tawdry desires,“ he said. “In the process, she did great damage to this young man, his family and even her own family.’’

Stubblefield admitted taking him out of the wheelchair, putting him on the floor in her office, removing his diaper and performing oral sex on the victim on one occasion.

She admitted engaging in vaginal intercourse at her Rutgers University office, where she was allegedly teaching him to communicate through something known as facilitated communication, a controversial and discredited method of communicating, according to the ECPO.

Stubblefield met the victim in 2009 when his brother took her class. During the class she showed a video on facilitated communication. After viewing the video, the victim’s brother asked if she thought his brother could be taught this method of communications, according to the ECPO.

From 2009 to 2011, Stubblefield worked with the victim. She took him from his home to her office. She also met him at a day program. Eventually she started taking him to conferences where she presented him as evidence of the effectiveness of facilitated communications.

She claimed he wrote complicated term papers and essays and expressed high-level thinking. She even took him on a date in New York City where she claimed he told her she should not drink wine because she was the designated driver, according to the ECPO.

After a while the victim’s family members became concerned because they were unable to communicate with him despite her claims that he was typing and communicating.

Eventually, she confessed to the family that she was in love with the victim and planning to leave her husband and children to live in an apartment with the victim.

At that point, the victim’s mother and brother, who had been appointed by the court to serve as legal guardians, asked her to stay away from the victim. Despite their request, she continued to try to make contact with the victim, causing the family to contact the University. Given the nature of the allegations, the university contacted authorities and Stubblefield was arrested and charged following a lengthy investigation, according to the ECPO."

http://patch.com/new-jersey/westorange/rutgers-professor-raped-man-cerebral-palsy-her-office-goes-jail-prosecutor?utm_source=alert-breakingnews&utm_medium=email&utm_term=police%20%26%20fire&utm_campaign=alert



I am not sure if being on the faculty at Rutgers, especially in the Philosophy Dept., is a contributing factor here, but she might consider raising that point on appeal.

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Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #65 on: January 17, 2016, 08:33:10 pm »
He can always "self-deport" himself to heaven.

Just sayin'

OMG, I just saw this.  And I am ROFL!   88devil

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #66 on: January 29, 2016, 12:07:52 pm »
Woman says she is a cat trapped in the wrong body - she hisses at dogs, hates water and claims she can even see better at night

 We probably all feel a bit like a sleepy housecat when we have to get up for work in the morning.

This Norwegian woman has taken that feeling to the next level. Nano claims she realised she was a cat when she was 16 years old, and has adopted feline mannerisms since.

The 20-year-old has opened up about her life as a puss, describing how she has a superior sense of hearing and sight which allows her to hunt mice in the dark.

She made the revelation in a YouTube video, which has been viewed over 100,000 times.

Nano claims to possess many feline characteristics including a hatred of water and the ability to communicate simply by meowing.

The young woman shows off her cat characteristics by wearing fake ears and an artificial tail. She communicates by meowing.

"I realised I was a cat when I was 16 when doctors and psychologists found out what was "the thing" with me. Under my birth there was a genetic defect," she explains in the video.

As they walked through Oslo's central station, the presenter asked Nano what she could hear and see that a normal person might not.

"Suitcases rolling on the ground," she says, "Keys clinking in pockets. People with ice under their shoes."

Then all of a sudden, she lets out a hiss and takes a step back.

"There is a dog over there," she explains. "Sometime I hiss when meeting dogs in the street. It's because of their behaviour and my instinct automatically reacts by hissing."

More, plus video if you must: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/12127067/woman-says-she-is-a-cat-trapped-in-the-wrong-body.html

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

Not the girl, she's just nuts, but with whoever decided this needed to be in a serious newspaper ....
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Online Free Vulcan

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #67 on: January 29, 2016, 02:22:45 pm »
Since we now live in the age of self-identification, this woman needs her special rights protected, and special accommodations given to her by all public places she frequents. Such as a litter box in the public bathroom, and her milk in a bowl instead of a glass. Scratching posts in her hotel room would be nice too.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2016, 02:23:09 pm by Free Vulcan »
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #68 on: January 29, 2016, 02:33:28 pm »
I think she is one of them "furries". 

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #69 on: January 29, 2016, 02:58:22 pm »
I think she is one of them "furries".

I'd hate to see the size of those hairballs.  8888spinning cat

 
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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #70 on: January 29, 2016, 03:06:07 pm »
I'd hate to see the size of those hairballs.  8888spinning cat

 

Now that's funny!

I wonder, does she prefer using a cat box?

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #71 on: January 29, 2016, 04:33:15 pm »
Now that's funny!

I wonder, does she prefer using a cat box?

Gag!  I wouldn't want to have to clean that out!   :poohappen:

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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #72 on: January 29, 2016, 04:47:55 pm »
Since we're on cats ....

‘Someone shaved my cat’: pet owners left mystified after bizarre incidents in Minchinhampton

 SOMEONE is catching and shaving cats in Minchinhampton.

Pet owners in the town have been left angry and mystified after two cats had their fur shaved off with what appears to be an electric trimmer.

Two neighbours came home during the last week to find large bold patches on their pet’s backs, stomachs and even on the top of their heads.

Resident Mandy Felton said she found her three-year-old black and white called Treacle in a state of distress on Monday evening.

“The poor thing was traumatised,” said Mandy, who lives in Glebe Road.

“Someone has clearly caught her and shaved two big patches into her fur. There were little marks on her legs and paws as well. It looked quite painful.

“She was a timid cat to begin with and wouldn’t usually go up to people in the street - but now she seems scared to go back outside.

“Treacle would never go up to someone if they called her, so somebody must have trapped her and held her down.

“When my daughter Tia first discovered what had happened she was so upset.

“I don’t understand who would do such a thing. What kind of person gets their kicks from shaving cats?

http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/14237231.___Someone_shaved_my_cat_____pet_owners_left_mystified_after_bizarre_incidents_in_Minchinhampton/
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Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #73 on: January 29, 2016, 05:23:26 pm »
Sick fu(ks. 
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Offline katzenjammer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #74 on: January 29, 2016, 05:28:28 pm »
Vile beyond description.