Author Topic: 'Did you enjoy having drinks on top of my brother's grave?' Sister of WTC victim lashes out at 9/11 Memorial cocktail party guests  (Read 5027 times)

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Offline mountaineer

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'You should all be ashamed of yourselves': Sister of dead 9/11 responder slams museum officials for hosting cocktail party

The National September 11 Memorial & Museum hosted a black-tie, invite-only affair Tuesday night. Among the swanky attendants were former Mayor Bloomberg and Condé Nast honchos. Family members of Sept. 11, 2001, victims are appalled anyone would celebrate on sacred ground.

BY  Edgar Sandoval  ,  Dan Friedman  ,  Rich Schapiro   / 
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS / 
Published: Wednesday, May 21, 2014, 12:28 PM
 / Updated: Thursday, May 22, 2014, 5:38 AM
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Anger seeped from her fingertips after learning that a bunch of VIPs partied and sipped fine wine on the sacred grounds of the 9/11 Museum, where her brother’s remains are buried.

“You enjoy dinner & drinks on top of my brothers grave last night douchebags?” tweeted Robert Shay Jr.’s sister.

Shay, 27, of Staten Island, was a husband, a father and a bond broker for Cantor Fitzgerald.

His outraged sister blasted Condé Nast, former Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum for the sickening black-tie shindig meant to recognize supporters and donors.

“You should all be ashamed of yourselves,” the sister posted.

The woman’s disgust was shared by dozens of visitors attending Wednesday’s public opening of the museum — including a group of first responders who had been turned away the day before as staff set up for the party.

“You don’t have cocktail parties at a cemetery,” fumed Joe Kisonas, 54, a retired FDNY fire marshal from Rockland County.

Kisonas and two of his retired first-responder buddies were confused when a museum staffer denied them entry at 5 p.m. Tuesday, saying “they were closing to clean.”

“They lied to us,” said Kisonas, of Rockland County. “Just tell us they are having a gathering.”

Kisonas’ pal, Matt Degennaro, a retired NYPD officer, said they waited until the last day of the museum’s free preview for 9/11 ...
Rest of story and photos at New York Daily News


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Offline mountaineer

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Meanwhile ...
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9/11 museum’s planned ‘comfort food’ cafe is inappropriate
By Steve Cuozzo
New York Post
May 22, 2014 | 5:09am

If the National September 11 Memorial & Museum gets you down — all those unbearable, last-words-to-loved-ones recordings, bloodied shoes and falling-body images — get over it with “comfort food,” seasonal farm products and locally made booze.

The just-opened museum unflinchingly, unforgettably, enshrines the horror of 9/11 for future generations. But the message sent by plans for a café on top of the horrific artifacts is:  Never forget . . . to pig out!

This summer, Danny Meyer’s Union Square Events is to open an 80-seat Pavilion Cafe inside the museum.

When I read that it would have “New York-made draft beers and American wines on tap,” I thought I’d had a few too many myself.

The great restaurateur promises a “soothing” experience, modeled on the “contemplative” spirit of a tea room.

Whew!

But the brains behind the museum apparently regard their cathartic masterpiece as just another cultural venue like MoMA or the Whitney, where Meyer also runs restaurants.

I can go for tomato soup and grilled cheese after staring at Picassos for a few hours. My appetite isn’t the same after a tour through hell.

Memorial/museum president Joe Daniels argues that such solemn sites as Gettysburg and Israel’s Yad Vashem have restaurants, too.

But Gettysburg was fought 151 years ago, and Yad Vashem is not at the site where the Holocaust took place.  The 9/11 Museum is where the terrorist attack took place a mere 13 years ago — and where remains of 1,115 unidentified victims are stored.

“We’re not doing this for crass or commercial reasons,” Meyer told me. In fact, the cafe is supposed to make money, although Meyer says it will pay the museum a “significantly above-market” rent and a percentage of proceeds, but, “We’re not at liberty” to discuss terms.

But the issue isn’t just profit. A gift shop selling tacky Twin Towers tchotchkes is inappropriate enough. A bar and grill by any name on top of burnt fire trucks and human ashes is just plain gross.
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Offline mountaineer

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Denis Hamill: Would they have partied if their relatives were among the dead? The 9/11 Museum is not the 40/40 Club, it is no place to party
The 'VIPs' who thought it was a good idea to drink wine above the human remains of 9/11 victims should be ashamed.

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS /Thursday, May 22, 2014, 12:11 AM
Quote
For shame.

Would they party if their relatives were among the 1,115 dead whose remains were downstairs?

That’s the question for the people who sipped bubbly and nibbled crab cakes at the black-tie, invitation-only party at the National September 11 Memorial & Museum on Tuesday.

If the unidentified remains of your son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, wife or husband, friend or loved one were entombed in the subbasement at Ground Zero, would you be drinking wine and eating shrimp cocktail in the lobby of a museum dedicated to the darkest day in the history of New York City?

I don’t think so.

To start with, the most moving part of the museum is that it makes you feel that all those who died were part of the family of New York. The footage of the ordinary guys and gals arriving for work at the 110-story towers on that ordinary Tuesday morning, not knowing it could be their last morning on Earth, is what gives this museum its extraordinary power. I didn’t see any of them in black tie or evening gowns .

This is a celebration of the hardworking New Yorkers who went to the World Trade Center to support themselves and their families, to save for dreams not yet realized, and then were obliterated by a collection of religious fanatics in a monstrous act of mass murder.

When you see the beautiful faces on the posters of the missing, you see the faces of the City of New York. They could have been any of us.

The dead belonged to all of us because the terrorist attacks were not just against the people in the towers. The terrorists had struck every New Yorker. And Ground Zero became a bottomless hole in our collective heart.

We all mourned. We all cried. The whole city fell silent when the bagpipes wailed and names of the dead were read at Ground Zero.

It sure didn’t read like a VIP list.

I felt that same reverent, respectful, inclusive sorrow when I walked through the 9/11 museum last week, seeing again the footage of the planes hitting the towers, the artifacts of the dead and the survivors, the celebration of heroes like FDNY Capt. Paddy Brown and NYPD Officer Moira Smith , who almost certainly knew that this would be their final tour as they kept working to save the innocent as the towers teetered.

Neither was dressed in formal attire that terrible day.

No, they wore the rugged uniforms of first responders like the ones turned away from the museum Tuesday so staff could prepare for the VIP party.

Walking through the museum, I thought of working-class victims I knew like receptionist Peggy Conner, big sister of my grammar school pal Kevin Burns, who perished in a Cantor Fitzgerald office.

“I find it ghoulish and insane to have a party over the remains of the 9/11 dead like my sister,” said Burns, a Vietnam vet. “The museum has a VIP list drinking wine. Meanwhile, my other sister, Pat Cuozzo, almost got arrested on the day the museum opened because she refused to pay admission to add a photo of my lost sister to the memorial wall. It’s a disgrace.”

The museum works because it is a celebration of ordinary New Yorkers who died on 9/11, the common people who could have been any of us. When I left the museum I felt a lot of swirling emotions. The last thing I felt like was partying.

To learn that this dignified shrine was turned into a lounge with a guest list of big shots who came to party above the remains of the unidentified dead made me realize that some people think they are even more important than the fallen of 9/11.

Get it straight: The 9/11 museum is not the 40/40 Club or a movie premiere or a gallery opening. This is a shrine dedicated to the memory of the common people who died in an unspeakable act of war on America.

And just as you don’t throw a barbecue on the field at Gettysburg and you don’t booze cruise next to the warship Arizona, you do not sip wine and yuk it up with other “VIPs” at a museum honoring the 9/11 dead.

For shame.
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Offline massadvj

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If I was Robert Shay and I had died on 9/11 I think I would want my sister to go on with her life and not obsess over my memory.  I would also want life to go on, and since schmoozing parties among elites are a part of life, they should happen as well.  Memorials and funerals are for the living.  The living should use the event to accommodate their needs, not the needs of the dead.

I am no fan of NYC elitist liberals, but come on.  Using one's dead brother to hurl insults and score political points is too much.

Online DCPatriot

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If I was Robert Shay and I had died on 9/11 I think I would want my sister to go on with her life and not obsess over my memory.  I would also want life to go on, and since schmoozing parties among elites are a part of life, they should happen as well.  Memorials and funerals are for the living.  The living should use the event to accommodate their needs, not the needs of the dead.

I am no fan of NYC elitist liberals, but come on.  Using one's dead brother to hurl insults and score political points is too much.

Excuse me?

How about you go and open up a bottle of wine at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier and see what happens to you. 

Maybe you've been dulled by the passage of time, sir, but not me.

Rent a god-damned hotel conference room up the street for your 'celebration.   The WTC site should be off-limits.
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

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Offline massadvj

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Excuse me?

How about you go and open up a bottle of wine at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier and see what happens to you. 

Maybe you've been dulled by the passage of time, sir, but not me.

Rent a god-damned hotel conference room up the street for your 'celebration.   The WTC site should be off-limits.

I see your point, but this is not a tomb.  This is a museum.  A celebration upon the opening of a museum seems to me to be a perfectly appropriate thing to do.  The fact that people are going on with their lives -- laughing, playing, eating and drinking, raising money for charity, having children, wrestling with tragedies -- is a testament to the dead because they died precisely so we could continue to have our freedom.  If I were among the dead, seeing people having a celebration on the site of my demise would warm my heart for the precise reason that it meant they were thinking about themselves and their needs, and not about me.

Online DCPatriot

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....The fact that people are going on with their lives -- laughing, playing, eating and drinking, raising money for charity, having children, wrestling with tragedies -- is a testament to the dead because they died precisely so we could continue to have our freedom.


No sir.   That doesn't fly.  They went to work that Tuesday morning just like you.

They were murdered by crazy fanatics.   Their deaths were NOT "precisely so we could continue to have our freedom".


At the very least, they should wait until all next of kin of the victims have died of old age, etc..

« Last Edit: May 22, 2014, 12:31:50 pm by DCPatriot »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline massadvj

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No sir.   That doesn't fly.  They went to work that Tuesday morning just like you.

They were murdered by crazy fanatics.   Their deaths were NOT "precisely so we could continue to have our freedom".

Well, we are going to just have to disagree on this one.  If you come to my funeral, feel free to have a good time.  Eat, drink and be merry.  If I come to yours, I'll be reverential.

Offline mountaineer

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The museum sits on the site where all those people died, so it essentially is a tomb, isn't it?
Here's the original story in the NY Daily News:
Quote
9/11 Museum, which sits on unidentified remains of attack victims, hosts alcohol-fueled party night before opening
Former Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Condé Nast honchos were among the attendees at the VIP event Tuesday that turned away some first responders during party preparations.
BY  Alfred Ng,  Dan Friedman NEW YORK DAILY NEWS 
Wednesday, May 21, 2014, 3:00 AM
 
On the eve of its grand opening to the public, the 9/11 Museum in lower Manhattan closed its doors to all but VIPs.

The sacred site that contains the remains of 1,115 unidentified victims became a private club for invited guests Tuesday night, sources told the Daily News — and some first responders were turned away during party preparations.

Former Mayor Mike Bloomberg and Condé Nast honchos were among those who nibbled crab cakes and shrimp cocktail hors d'oeuvres at the black tie affair, billed as a dedication ceremony, according to sources.

But one museum employee at the event, who spoke on condition of anonymity, described it as a festive affair.

“They were drinking, eating and laughing when this is pretty much a gravesite,” the employee said.

About 60 guests attended the soiree from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.

The Information Desk on the museum’s lower level was converted into a bar for the night, the employee said.

“I don’t think alcohol should be allowed in there. It’s a sacred ground and they desecrated it,” the worker added.

Condé Nast is picking up the tab for all visitors on opening day Wednesday.

Tuesday was the last day that first responders could tour the site for free before it opens to the general public — and several were turned away that afternoon so the museum could prepare for the party, sources said.

Among those denied entry were an NYPD officer who had come with this wife, the worker said.

Another group of firefighters was asked to leave early and left the site in tears.

The 9/11 Museum has come in for heavy criticism from some survivor families as it tries to balance its dual roles as tourist site and shrine.

John Feal, a 9/11 responder and advocate, was angered by the party.

“Everyone who lost a loved one in 9/11 should be outraged,” he said. “Shame on the museum.”

Attempts to contact the 9/11 Museum, Condé Nast and Bloomberg late Tuesday were not successful.
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Online DCPatriot

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Well, we are going to just have to disagree on this one.  If you come to my funeral, feel free to have a good time.  Eat, drink and be merry.  If I come to yours, I'll be reverential.

I understand, Victor....not trying to give you hard time here.

Seeing as how the TWO of us can't agree....imagine how it is when almost 3,000 are involved?

I can still 'see' those people jumping...choosing that instead of burning alive.   Maybe I'm just too sensitive....  :shrug:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline massadvj

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The museum sits on the site where all those people died, so it essentially is a tomb, isn't it?
Here's the original story in the NY Daily News:

If I buy a house from an estate knowing that someone died in that house, does that mean I cannot hold parties in that house?

It reminds me of a guy I knew when I was in the real estate business.  He bought a house very cheap right after there was a murder/suicide in it.  A man fought with his wife and then killed the whole family and then himself.  Every Halloween he would have a party and re-enact the crime.  Now, some people would be offended by that.  But it strikes me as a very human thing to do.

Offline massadvj

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Seeing as how the TWO of us can't agree....imagine how it is when almost 3,000 are involved?

That's just the thing.  The fact that 3,000 lives were involved makes it even more imperative that we go on living.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2014, 12:43:43 pm by massadvj »

Online DCPatriot

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If I buy a house from an estate knowing that someone died in that house, does that mean I cannot hold parties in that house?

It reminds me of a guy I knew when I was in the real estate business.  He bought a house very cheap right after there was a murder/suicide in it.  A man fought with his wife and then killed the whole family and then himself.  Every Halloween he would have a party and re-enact the crime.  Now, some people would be offended by that.  But it strikes me as a very human thing to do.

Are the victims of that murder suicide buried in the basement?  [/s]

Are you seriously equating your example with what happend that September 11th?  :whistle:



"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline musiclady

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I see your point, but this is not a tomb.   This is a museum.  A celebration upon the opening of a museum seems to me to be a perfectly appropriate thing to do.  The fact that people are going on with their lives -- laughing, playing, eating and drinking, raising money for charity, having children, wrestling with tragedies -- is a testament to the dead because they died precisely so we could continue to have our freedom.  If I were among the dead, seeing people having a celebration on the site of my demise would warm my heart for the precise reason that it meant they were thinking about themselves and their needs, and not about me.

Yes, it IS a tomb, and it should be treated as such.

Partying there is way out of line.  WAY out of line.
Character still matters.  It always matters.

I wear a mask as an exercise in liberty and love for others.  To see it as an infringement of liberty is to entirely miss the point.  Be kind.

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Offline musiclady

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If I buy a house from an estate knowing that someone died in that house, does that mean I cannot hold parties in that house?

It reminds me of a guy I knew when I was in the real estate business.  He bought a house very cheap right after there was a murder/suicide in it.  A man fought with his wife and then killed the whole family and then himself.  Every Halloween he would have a party and re-enact the crime.  Now, some people would be offended by that.  But it strikes me as a very human thing to do.

Obviously, as DC has pointed out, your comparison isn't valid.

This would be more like having a party over the U.S.S. Arizona at Pearl Harbor.
Character still matters.  It always matters.

I wear a mask as an exercise in liberty and love for others.  To see it as an infringement of liberty is to entirely miss the point.  Be kind.

"Sometimes I think the Church would be better off if we would call a moratorium on activity for about six weeks and just wait on God to see what He is waiting to do for us. That's what they did before Pentecost."   - A. W. Tozer

Use the time God is giving us to seek His will and feel His presence.

Offline Rivergirl

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Wonder what the reaction would have been if all those first responders had decided they had some parties to attend and decided not to rush to the burning towers to rescue those inside.

Evidently there is no low too low for  Bloomers and his ilk.   Let's never forget how they chose to party on the graves of those lost in the attack.

Offline alicewonders

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For me, this comes to mind - if I was one of the victims of 9/11 that perished in those buildings that day - I would want my country to pursue those bastards with steely resolve and not stop until we had VANQUISHED them once and for all!

At least, with Pearl Harbor and the Holocaust victims - there is some little sense of closure in that we defeated them.  I don't have that sense of vindication or closure with 9/11 - quite the opposite.  It feels like an open oozing sore that never can heal. 

This museum IS a tomb!  I think if one of my loved ones had perished there, it would bother me too.  Yes, celebrate their lives - but never FORGET and never REST until the enemy has been obliterated!

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Offline andy58-in-nh

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For me, this comes to mind - if I was one of the victims of 9/11 that perished in those buildings that day - I would want my country to pursue those bastards with steely resolve and not stop until we had VANQUISHED them once and for all!

At least, with Pearl Harbor and the Holocaust victims - there is some little sense of closure in that we defeated them.  I don't have that sense of vindication or closure with 9/11 - quite the opposite.  It feels like an open oozing sore that never can heal. 

This museum IS a tomb!  I think if one of my loved ones had perished there, it would bother me too.  Yes, celebrate their lives - but never FORGET and never REST until the enemy has been obliterated!

I must agree with you on this issue.

I understand and appreciate the laudable human impulse expressed elsewhere in this space, that as human beings we must move on with our lives and not be afraid to laugh and sing and drink and make merry. So we should. Our very humanity demands an appreciation of the life that has been given us.

But not there. 

There is a time and a place for everything, and in this event there is no cause to celebrate, especially while standing in the very footprint of what too many of us still pretend was a "tragedy" or a "catastrophe" but which was in truth, an act of mass murder.   

The building that now casts its shadow over that giant footprint is in part, a rebuke to the murderers. The waterfalls that today softly cascade upon the tombs of incinerated innocents, with their names etched in stone above two great square holes in the ground serve both as a reminder and a warning. Life does go on, but we must never forget and never again allow our complacency and tolerance of evil to permit such a thing to happen again.

By conducting a party on such a site, we demonstrate neither remembrance, nor reverence, nor respect, nor reflection. Instead, it demonstrates a will to forget, and a willful blindness.

Many of those responsible for evil acts like those that resulted in the need for a WTC memorial are still at large.

And they are watching us.


"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Offline EC

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With respect:

Quote
By conducting a party on such a site, we demonstrate neither remembrance, nor reverence, nor respect, nor reflection. Instead, it demonstrates a will to forget, and a willful blindness.

After every terrorist bombing in London, the pubs are packed. Restaurants are packed. Clubs are packed, with hours long queues to get in. It's about the only way we, as a people, can give the terrorists one giant Eff you.
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Offline sinkspur

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If I was Robert Shay and I had died on 9/11 I think I would want my sister to go on with her life and not obsess over my memory.  I would also want life to go on, and since schmoozing parties among elites are a part of life, they should happen as well.  Memorials and funerals are for the living.  The living should use the event to accommodate their needs, not the needs of the dead.

I am no fan of NYC elitist liberals, but come on.  Using one's dead brother to hurl insults and score political points is too much.

Victor, I agree with you. 

Jesus himself said to the young man who wanted to follow him but had to bury his father "Let the dead bury the dead."  Life is for the living, and life goes on, in all its forms.  Obsessing over the dead or using them to beat others over the head is unseemly. 

Anybody ever been to an Irish wake?  Lots of drinking and laughing and celebrating. 

Come on, folks.  A cemetery full of bones is not "sacred ground."  It's just a cemetery full of bones.  The souls of those who died on 9/11 are in glory doing what?

Celebrating the vision of God.
Roy Moore's "spiritual warfare" is driving past a junior high without stopping.

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Not trying to be flippant here, but isn't Shay an Irish surname?

I've attended more than one Irish wake...
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Offline andy58-in-nh

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Victor, I agree with you. 

Jesus himself said to the young man who wanted to follow him but had to bury his father "Let the dead bury the dead."  Life is for the living, and life goes on, in all its forms.  Obsessing over the dead or using them to beat others over the head is unseemly. 

Anybody ever been to an Irish wake?  Lots of drinking and laughing and celebrating. 

Come on, folks.  A cemetery full of bones is not "sacred ground."  It's just a cemetery full of bones.  The souls of those who died on 9/11 are in glory doing what?

Celebrating the vision of God.

There's a difference between a cemetary and a killing field.  I have in fact drunk toasts to the departed at their gravesites, and laughed with friends and families at wakes. I would not be comfortable doing so at Dachau or Auschwitz.
"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Offline musiclady

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There's a difference between a cemetary and a killing field.  I have in fact drunk toasts to the departed at their gravesites, and laughed with friends and families at wakes. I would not be comfortable doing so at Dachau or Auschwitz.

I agree.

And there's a huge difference between this, and celebrating the life of a loved one at a wake with merriment.

A dispassionate (for the victims) party held at the 'death camp' of thousands is completely inappropriate.

I don't believe it has to do with individuals who have lost loved ones' getting on with their lives, but of respect for those whose lives were lost to an evil enemy.

Your comparison with Auschwitz is a good one.  There is a forest outside Kiev, Ukraine where Stalin took his 'enemies' out and mowed them down and buried them in shallow graves.  Their families posted photos of them on trees afterwards, and when we were there decades after it happened, they were still there, and the forest untouched.

When we visited the site, there was a hushed silence in remembrance of those lost.

The victims of 9/11 deserve respect, and their graves should be honored.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2014, 03:56:35 pm by musiclady »
Character still matters.  It always matters.

I wear a mask as an exercise in liberty and love for others.  To see it as an infringement of liberty is to entirely miss the point.  Be kind.

"Sometimes I think the Church would be better off if we would call a moratorium on activity for about six weeks and just wait on God to see what He is waiting to do for us. That's what they did before Pentecost."   - A. W. Tozer

Use the time God is giving us to seek His will and feel His presence.

Offline musiclady

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For me, this comes to mind - if I was one of the victims of 9/11 that perished in those buildings that day - I would want my country to pursue those bastards with steely resolve and not stop until we had VANQUISHED them once and for all!

At least, with Pearl Harbor and the Holocaust victims - there is some little sense of closure in that we defeated them.  I don't have that sense of vindication or closure with 9/11 - quite the opposite.  It feels like an open oozing sore that never can heal. 

This museum IS a tomb!  I think if one of my loved ones had perished there, it would bother me too.  Yes, celebrate their lives - but never FORGET and never REST until the enemy has been obliterated!

There cannot be 'closure' when the evil enemy who killed thousands of Americans is thriving, and growing like a cancer all over the world, in part, because our punk sympathizing president has encouraged it.
Character still matters.  It always matters.

I wear a mask as an exercise in liberty and love for others.  To see it as an infringement of liberty is to entirely miss the point.  Be kind.

"Sometimes I think the Church would be better off if we would call a moratorium on activity for about six weeks and just wait on God to see what He is waiting to do for us. That's what they did before Pentecost."   - A. W. Tozer

Use the time God is giving us to seek His will and feel His presence.

Offline andy58-in-nh

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I agree.

And there's a huge difference between this, and celebrating the life of a loved one at a wake with merriment.

A dispassionate (for the victims) party held at the 'death camp' of thousands is completely inappropriate.

I don't believe it has to do with individuals who have lost loved ones' getting on with their lives, but of respect for those whose lives were lost to an evil enemy.

Your comparison with Auschwitz is a good one.  There is a forest outside Kiev, Ukraine where Stalin took his 'enemies' out and mowed them down and buried them in shallow graves.  Their families posted photos of them on trees afterwards, and when we were there decades after it happened, they were still there, and the forest untouched.

When we visited the site, there was a hushed silence in remembrance of those lost.

The victims of 9/11 deserve respect, and their graves should be honored.

The ghosts of Katyn Forest and those of the Twin Towers may never be avenged, but they deserve the reverence of the living for as long as their memory lives on.
"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn